Homecoming
by cwby30
Summary: Ennis stopped at the Twist Ranch for the second time, on his way to Montana to live with his daughter, 14 months after he received the postcard about Jack's death, and found the unexpected. Now they have to figure out how to live with it.
1. Chapter 1

Homecoming

"Why, Ennis! Please, come in," said Mrs. Twist answering the back door to the house.

"Thank ya, Ma'am," responded Ennis, glad to be out of the October chill. He took off his hat as he entered the kitchen. Things were the same, yet different, as he looked around the room. New coat of paint, new curtains it seemed, but the same table and chairs that he had sat at last year. _Only a year ago, seems like more than that. Place looks better on the outside, too._

"Have a seat, dear. Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes, ma'am, surely would," Ennis answered quietly, taking the same seat as before.

Mrs. Twist set a cup in front of Ennis and sat down opposite him, same place as before. "So glad to see ya here, I'm glad ya remembered and came back. So, what brings ya up here? Still living around Riverton?"

"No, ma'am, not any more. Place I was workin' at folded and, well, ain't got a job, so I'm heading up to Billings to stay with my married daughter for a bit, look for work up there. Decided to come see ya, since it was on the way sorta and I may not get back this way fer a while."

"Good that ya did."

"Saw the truck with the Texas plates on it outside, and don't wanta intrude much on yer visitors."

"Ennis, you're not intrudin', ya never could" said Mrs. Twist. "That's Jack's truck, the one that…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta…"

"It's okay."

Ennis hesitated. "Um, ma'am, would ya mind if I… Well, what I mean is… I'd like to go over ta the cemetery and say good bye ta Jack. Know it's a big thing ta ask, but feel like I should say somethin ta him…" Ennis' voice trailed off.

Mrs. Twist gave him a sympathetic look, and was quiet for a bit. Then she started up. "Ennis, there's somethin' ya should know…"

"Well, if it isn't the famous Ennis del Mar, come back to visit us," said a scornful voice cutting her off. They both turned and saw Mr. Twist enter the room. Only now, he was in a wheelchair, his left leg missing from just above the knee. "Whatcha lookin' at, del Mar? Ain't ya ever seen a cripple before?"

"Uh, nothin'… I mean, yes, sir, I have. Didn't mean ta stare, sorry."

"Well, don't be, don't need yer sympathy. My own damn fault. Bought me a new tractor with some money from Jack last year, and the damn thing got away from me out mowing this Summer. Threw me off, ran over me, lost my leg. Ain't good for much these days. Whatcha doin' here? Lookin' for a handout?" He wheeled up to his usual spot at the kitchen table. Mrs. Twist got up and came back with a cup of coffee and placed it in front of him. As she did, she placed a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at her with what Ennis thought might be the beginnings of a slight smile. _Must be imaginin' things, bein' here, with Jack all around me._

"Uh, no sir, wasn't that, I'm headin' up ta Montana ta find a job and…"

"Ya need a job, huh? Get fired?"

"Yes, sir, I mean, no sir. The place I was workin' at folded and I'm goin' up there ta stay with my daughter and her husband in Billings, look for work, heard things was better up there."

"Lot a that goin' around Wyomin'." He squinted at Ennis. "Ya and Jack, the two a ya was close, weren't ya, good friends, _real _good friends?"

Ennis blushed and looked down at his half-full coffee cup. _Better than good, old man, but none a yer damn business, nobody's business but ours_.

"Now, dear, you're embarrassin' our guest," chimed in Mrs. Twist quietly.

"Can see that! Well, whatdya say?" Mr. Twist demanded of Ennis.

Ennis looked up at him, and decided it was time after all to acknowledge his own worth in the eyes of Jack's pa. _ Owe it ta ya, Jack, time ta acknowledge ta someone what ya meant…still mean… ta me, tire irons be damned, this old man a yers can't hurt ya no more._ "Sir, me 'n Jack was, close, very close, he was my best friend, what we had together most folks never find, I miss him every day, and I would give pret' near anythin' ta have him back again, even fer just a day."

Mrs. Twist gave a slight cough. Mr. Twist just stared at Ennis. Finally, he spoke. "What I thought about you and him. Anythin', huh? Ya give anythin'?" He drummed his fingers on the table.

"Yes, sir, 'most anythin'."

"Mmmm." Mr. Twist was silent for what seemed like minutes, the pendulum of the old banjo clock on the wall slowly ticking off the seconds, each sounding louder than the one before.

"Look here, what would ya say ta stayin' here and workin' the ranch fer the Winter? Need some good help, the fella we got here now hardly knows a hill a beans about workin' this place, always talkin about how he's gonna fix things up, then never finishin' hardly anythin', half the time he's drunk anyway, don't know why I let him stay here, prob'ly 'cause I can't get anyone else. Damn glad that other guy left, high-falutin' college guy, always lookin' down on ya, never wantin' ta get his hands dirty." Mr. Twist spat into his empty coffee cup.

Ennis looked like he'd swallowed his tongue.

"Well, say somethin'!"

"Sir, don't know what ta say. I mean, ya know how I felt… still feel... about Jack, and I know what ya think about that... him and me…"

"Del Mar, ya hardly know a thing about what I think. So I'll tell ya what I think. What I think is I need a good worker, and yer here, and ya look and sound like one, and ya need a job. And, ya tell me Jack still means a lot to ya. Outside a my grandson, you're the only one who's said that plain and simple right ta my face. Ya may not believe me, but I believe ya… and a part a me admires ya for pickin' such a hard road in life and stickin' to it, even after havin' us tell ya about Jack and knowin' how I feel about it." Mr. Twist leaned forward over the table. "So, ya want the job or not? Pay ya what I can now, not much mind ya, can't afford much, but can give ya some more when the stock goes ta market next Fall. Plus ya get room and board, all of Mrs. Twist's fine home cookin' that ya can eat. As ta the work out there," he nodded towards the barn and stables, "ya'll hafta sort it out with the other fella on yer own terms."

"Sir, I don't know what ta say. Know it was a dream of Jack's fer me ta come up here, asked me enough times," Ennis said slowly, thinking on how many times and how many times he turned down Jack and what it did to the both of them. _Jack, time for me to try to do right by ya._ "So, yes, sir, I'll take the job, be glad ta help ya like Jack wanted."

"Deal. Shake on it." They did. "Now, promise me this, del Mar," said Mr. Twist, not letting go of Ennis' hand as he started to pull away, "no matter what happens between ya with that other fella, you stay here."

"Deal, and I promise," said Ennis. _Jack, I swear…_

"Sir, got my horses in the trailer outside, need ta get 'em out and let 'm stretch. 'N where should I put my own stuff?" He stood up and picked up his hat, ready to go to work. _I'll visit ya later, Jack, gotta get started here first._

"Ya can bunk down upstairs, coupla empty rooms up there, take whichever one ya want, ya know which one's Jack's from the last time. And seein' as how you're workin' and livin' here now, call me John, all this sirrin' reminds me a the Army."

"Thank ya, sir… John. Ya won't be sorry about havin' me here, also promise ya that."

"Dinner's at 6:00, don't be late," responded John. "Mind if we call ya Ennis?" he asked after that.

"Yes, sir,…uh, no sir, uh, John. That's fine with me. Ma'am," said Ennis nodding to Mrs. Twist, and headed out into the afternoon sunshine. Not all the warmth he felt came from the sun. Inside, he felt a warm glow spreading, happy that he could finally if belatedly help Jack keep his promise to his folks.

Mrs. Twist turned from the window, and looked at her husband. "John, don't know about this. Maybe we shoulda let him…"

"Best this way," John responded, nothing more to say about it.

Ennis turned Twister and JJ out into the corral next to the stables, and made sure they had water before hauling their tack inside. He finished and turned to leave when a slurred voice yelled at him from the other end of the stables. "What the hell's goin' on here? Who are ya? What ya doin' in here? Those yer horses in the corral? Who said ya could do that? Ya gotta move 'em back inta yer trailer and git." He turned and saw a hatted figure standing silhouetted in the double-doorway of the stables, hands on hips.

Ennis bristled at the tone of voice and the words. _Must be that other ranch hand John warned me about. Not even 3:00 and he's already had too many. Don't' need ta take that from him, no more'n I would from any other ranch hand. Best ta let him know I ain't leavin', and just where he stands with me._

"First off, if ya got somethin' ta say ta me, ya don't yell from across the stables, ya come up and talk to me. Second, John done hired me, and I plan on stayin' on here no matter what ya say or do, made a promise ta him and Mrs. Twist which I aim on keepin', so ya best keep that in mind. Third, those _are_ my horses and they're staying put right where they are. And fourth, ya best be quittin' the drinkin', 'cause there's work ta be done and I fer one don't wanta get hurt 'cause a some stupid mistake ya make 'cause a yer drinkin'," Ennis retorted, standing tall in the filtered light of the stables, hands on hips himself.

No response. Quiet. Dust swirled in the shafts of light coming through the planks of the barn.

_Good._ Ennis started forward, knowing his point was made, irritated and ready to push the other guy aside if he had to on his way out. The next words, spoken so quietly he hardly heard them, stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Friend, that's the most you've said to me in a month a Sundays."

_No!_ Ennis heart rate skyrocketed, he suddenly felt dizzy and ready to drop, but stayed rooted in the same spot. _Can't be…_

"What, ain't you got nothin' ta say ta me?"

"But, but, but…" Ennis stuttered. His brain couldn't form the words.

A soft chuckle came from the other figure. "Ya always did like my butt best, Bud."

At that, Ennis's legs buckled. He fell to his knees on the floor of the barn and would have gone down all the way, but a pair of strong arms scooped him up and didn't let him fall further.

"Ennis… Whatcha doin' here? I dream about this every night. Oh, Ennis." He alternated between kissing Ennis' neck softly and nuzzling him. "You came."

Ennis groaned, his head swirling. "Jack…" he croaked out. "Yer dead, the postcard, Lureen, them ashes, yer daddy…" He felt those arms around him, smelled the unmistakable smells of Jack mixed in with the familiar odor of whiskey. _It can't be, but it is, but how can it be? I must be goin' loco._

"Does this feel like I'm dead, Bud?" Jack licked his ear.

It didn't, and he wasn't It was all too much for Ennis. He wrapped his arms around Jack and sobbed. Fourteen months of grief and anger poured out of him and onto Jack's willing shoulders. "Sonofabitch, sonofabitch," was the only word he could muster over and over again. Jack couldn't help himself either, and he joined Ennis in crying. Fourteen months of grief and anger poured out of him and onto Ennis' heaving shoulders. Kneeling on the stable floor, they held each other tight, as they had for over twenty years in their hearts.

When Ennis got himself under control, he patted Jack on the back, and pulled away just a bit. "Let me look at ya." His fingers traced the edges of Jack's face, across some unfamiliar scars, down his neck.

And then he hauled off and slugged Jack, knocking him sprawling back onto the dirt floor of the stables, hard.

"Fuck all, Ennis! What ya go and do that for?"

Ennis jumped up. "Yeah, Jack _fuckin'_ Twist! What ya mean showin' up here alive? Ya know what ya did ta me, what Hell I been through fer the last year and some? Do ya? Fourteen months a cryin' and not carin' about near everything, drinkin' myself ta sleep, wringin' it out over dreams a you and me up on Brokeback? Damn you! Then ya scare me half ta death again. Whatdya got ta say fer yerself, Twist, huh?" Ennis screamed at Jack, the veins in his forehead pulsing.

Jack just lay there, propped up on one elbow, his free hand massaging his aching right cheek and jaw, wiping some blood from the side of his mouth. "Deserved that from you, and more," he said mournfully. "Damn that hurts! Told you once I'd never let ya sucker-punch me again, and I just did. Serves me right."

"Damn straight about that," Ennis spat out.

"Wanta help me up? Hard gettin' up these days, 'n promise I won't hit you back." Jack extended a hand up. Ennis wanted to let him wallow in the dirt, but thought twice about it when the meaning of Jack's words hit him. He leaned over and took Jack's hand. Jack promptly yanked on it, catching Ennis off-balance. He landed with a thud on his side next to Jack, and Jack rolled over on top of him, pushing him flat on the dirt.

"Shit, Jack. Ow, that hurts!"

"Promised not ta hit you, never promised not to pull you down here." Jack grinned, and then planted a quick kiss on Ennis before resting his full weight on him and laying his head on Ennis' chest. Jack could hear his heart racing.

"Ya really are here, ain't ya, ya damned fool." Ennis closed his eyes and groaned. Hundreds of thoughts whirled around in his mind. _The fella we got here hardly knows a hill a beans about workin' this place, always talkin about how he's gonna fix things up, then never finishin' anythin', half the time he's drunk anyway, don't know why I let him stay here… Damn glad that other guy left, high-falutin' college guy, always lookin' down on ya, never wantin' ta get his hands dirty …_ _I miss him every day, and I would give pret' near anythin' ta have him back again, even fer just a day … Promise me this, no matter what happens between ya with that other fella, you stay._

"I gotta know, Jack, I gotta know what's goin' on. Yer kissin' me ain't gonna solve nothin', not this time." Ennis couldn't keep the traces of anger and bitterness from his voice. But he also couldn't keep the traces of wonder and happiness from it, either.

Jack sighed, and pushed off Ennis onto his elbows, with the rest of his weight still on a willing Ennis. "Let's go outside, sit a spell, and I'll tell you the whole thing."

They sat on the old wooden bench 'round back of the stables, facing West, away from the house and towards the fields and rolling lands of the Twist Ranch, butt touching butt, thigh touching thigh. Ennis had noticed Jack's limp as he led the way. His horses nickered at them from the corral right next to them. Jack lit two cigarettes at once, and handed one to Ennis. They each took a drag, exhaled, and looked at the other. Jack tried to smile, failed, and turned away. His headache came from more than the shots of whiskey he'd consumed earlier. He slowly started to speak.

"Me and Lureen had a big row after I got back from our trip last May. I was seein' red over what you'd said ta me, and what I'd said ta you. Ya gotta know, I'd never quit you, was just so mad at not bein' able ta see you for so long, I just lost it. 'm sorry for sayin' that, would take it back if I could."

"'m sorry too, Jack, fer sayin' what I did, fer blamin' ya, fer all them years of turnin' ya away. Let's not be plowin' through that field again, okay, darlin'? Been kickin' ourselves over that enough already."

Jack's heart literally skipped a beat. _He called me darlin'! He's gonna forgive me! If I don't screw this up any more'n I have already._

"'kay." Jack took another drag on his cigarette and continued. "Where was it? Oh. It was early mornin'. I was sittin' at the kitchen table, and Lureen was standin' at the counter in her robe, arms folded. I was beat, had driven nearly a thousand miles overnight, 'n hadn't been home more'n ten minutes, when Lureen, she started harpin' on me about being' away so long and goin' so far, and you never havin' the courtesy to drive even part a the way, and the business needin' me especially now that her daddy was in the grave, and Bobby didn't do well on his last English test and never would get into the University if it weren't fer the Newsome name and money… Well, I just exploded. Told her what she could do with her Newsome name and her Newsome money and her Newsome business and her Newsome house. Told her she just could stick it all where the sun don't shine, 'cause I didn't really care no more about it or her, only two things I cared about was Bobby and you."

"Shit, ya didn't."

"Yep, I did." Jack smiled ruefully at the thought. "Well, she picked up a coffee mug outta the dishrack and threw it at me, landed right here." Jack pointed to the small scar above his left eyebrow. "Zigged when I shoulda zagged," he said with a chuckle, which frittered away slowly. "She started towards me and drew back her hand ta hit me, so I jumped up and grabbed her wrist and pushed her away from me. She fell over backwards, and came up and at me with her nails. Then it got real nasty. Guess we weren't so quiet about it, and next thing I know the cops is all over the place. Maria Theresa had called 'em, screamin' in Spanish that we were killin' each other. When all the shouting was over, so was our marriage. The cops let Lureen get dressed and then pushed her outta the house, corralled her in back, and stayed with me while I packed up my stuff and called a U-Haul place to bring over a truck with a towing bar, and even helped me put my stuff inta the truck and hitch up the pick-up. By that time Bobby'd come home from an overnight with friends, saw what was goin' on, and proceeded ta yell at Lureen, calling her a no-good mother and how he was glad I was finally leavin' her. And by the time them two was finished shouting, she and Bobby were finished too."

"She knows about us? She tell them others about us?"

"Yep on both counts, 'course with her own little twist on things, damn her again."

"Damn," Ennis groaned, putting his face in his hands, elbows on his knees.

"Don't I know it," said Jack running a hand over his face, feeling his scars. "Well, me 'n Bobby packed his stuff too, somehow it all fit inta the U-Haul, and hitched my truck to the back, and took off. Spent the first night at with some friends in Shamrock a ways up the road, Matt and Betsy Worthington. In the mornin', realized I had ta get to the bank and ta see my broker, close out my accounts before Lureen found out about 'em."

"What accounts?"

"My savings account and my stock account, my cow-and-calf-operation-with-Ennis accounts, the ones with my name and yers on 'em."

"My name?!" Ennis's jaw dropped. "Whatcha go 'n do a thing like that fer?"

"So's if anythin' happened ta me, you'd have a chance at that sweet life I always been talkin' about. Had a fair piece a change in there, too, over two-hundred grand in cash and stocks and bonds and such. The results of fifteen years a sellin' my soul ta the devil named LD and sellin' farm equipment to the good ranchers and farmers of Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas, _and_ keepin' my earning's for myself. Made some good investments over the years with that dough. God knows Lureen didn't need it and didn't want it neither, said so more'n once. Be damned if I was gonna let her get her hands on it then."

Ennis could only stare. He couldn't comprehend having that much money.

"Made it ta the bank first thing, and met with the manager, friend a mine, least ways thought he was, and got me a cashier's check payable to you and me. All the time people were comin' and goin', starin' and whisperin'. When we stood ta shake hands, the manager told me what his wife had heard from her best friend who heard it from… you got the idea. The word all over Childress was that Jack Twist was queer, Jack Twist had beat up on his ever-sufferin' wife, Jack Twist was leavin' that lovely Newsome girl for his queer lover, Jack Twist was kidnappin' her boy 'n takin' him into that life of sin. No one even cared that Lureen was havin' an affair with one a the factory sales reps, had been for more'n four years. Manager then told me he was glad I was closin' my account, didn't wanta do business with me any more.

"Almost the same thing happened with my broker. Soon as I got the account switched over to a broker friend up in Casper, he told me he'd already heard some a the same stuff from his wife. He asked what part of it was true, and I told him. He looked me square in the eye, shook my hand, and told me he didn't care about the queer part, had a brother that was that way, and didn't believe the rest of it, but some folks would. Probably best I was leavin' town.

"So, got inta my truck and high-tailed it outta Childress. Had ta stop for gas at the self-serve on the edge of town. Checked the air pressure in the tires, fluid in the radiator, and went inside ta pay. 'bout halfway back ta Shamrock the truck started actin' funny. Pulled off the main road onta a side road, and found the right rear tire was flat. Someone had cut the valve stem while I was inside the station. Cussed up a storm as I dug out the spare, and started changin' the tire. Damn, mouth's getting dry from alla this talkin', head hurts, too."

"Never thought I'd hear that outta ya, mister talk-all-day. Here, lemme get ya some water. You're gonna need it ta dilute all that whisky." Ennis returned shortly from inside with a tin cup and filled it with water from the pump at the horse trough. Jack drank the whole thing and handed the empty cup back to Ennis with a "Thanks, friend." Their fingers touched as he handed off the cup. Ennis refilled the cup and sat down next to Jack, handing Jack the cup in the process. This time, Jack put the cup down on the other side of him, and their fingers stayed entwined, their hands resting on Jack's thigh. Jack continued slowly, his voice full of pain.

"Just had the tire off, hunched down beside my truck, when I heard another truck pull up. Fella came round the back a mine, asked if I needed some help. Told him I was much obliged, and could he help me rassle the spare onta the truck. He said sure, and reached for the tire. I heard something behind me, and turned around, and next thing I knowed I was on the ground 'n my head hurt so much I couldn't see straight. Some other guy had snuck around the front a my truck while the first guy distracted me. They laughed at me, hit me with somethin' hard enough to break my leg and my arm and do what you see up here, kicked me in the ribs and elsewhere down there, told me that's all what queers are good for, bein' punchin' bags for the good folk of Texas. Finally they just stopped and left givin' me a good-bye kick, heard their truck takin' off."

Ennis felt Jack's tears falling on his hand, which still held Jack's Ennis' own tears fell on his shirt.

"Know who done this ta ya?" Ennis asked. "'Cause if ya do, I'll take care of 'em."

"Naw, never saw 'em before, probably paid ta do it by someone I do know. Too late now ta do anythin', don't wanta stir the pot."

Jack continued on in a trembley voice.

"After a while, don't know how long, heard another truck or car stopping. Heard someone walkin' around the end of the truck, and I just curled up in a ball and begged whoever it was not ta hit me no more and ta go away and just let me die. The fella leaned down and touched me, and called me 'daddy'. It was Bobby, come lookin' fer me in Betsy's car, wanted me ta take him ta school ta get his things from his locker. God sent him, Ennis, made him my ministering angel, just like he sent you ta me. Bobby saved my life, reason why them other guys ran off. He got me inta the car and drove back ta our friends' place in Shamrock. They called their doctor, and he came over 'n patched me up best he could, set my arm and leg. Wanted ta put me in the hospital, but I was afraid."

"Ya coulda died, ya shoulda gone!"

"Just couldn't take that chance," Jack replied. "After that, decided ta let folks think I was dead, least ways until I could get outta Texas, so's those guys wouldn't come back ta finish the job. So Bobby, bless him, hugged me and left me there, drove back ta Childress, and made up some story for Lureen. She hardly batted an eye, damn her, just wanted ta know where ta view the body to be sure I was gone. So, she drove up ta Shamrock with Bobby, and the doctor and Matt showed her a body. She hardly glanced at it, said it was me, spat on it, signed the papers put in front a her without lookin' at 'em, and left."

"Who was it?"

"Don't know, some transient fella. The doctor and Matt went ta the morgue and ID'd a 'John Doe' as me, and had it taken to a mortuary. Face was done in from an accident of some kind, so hard ta recognize who he was. They had the body cremated that day, and sent the ashes ta Lureen. And ya know what happened to them after that. Day after the funeral, Bobby told Lureen that he was gonna take my things and my truck up to my folks, that she had no right to them, and he did. On the way he and Matt moved me ta his cousin's place in Colorado for a coupla months, ta recover. Had some surgery on my face and leg, did about the best they could do, used some a the money I saved. Once I felt better, came up here. Missed you by a week. Ain't left Lightnin' Flat since then"

Ennis was silent for a bit, reeling a bit from the whole thing. "Yer folks told me ya were dead," he finally said.

"When he brought up my stuff, Bobby told my folks ta be careful about anyone comin' around askin' about me. Might be sniffin around, wantin' to finish the job just in case. So, not knowin' you, they kept my secret. I got a wonderful kid, Ennis. Sure miss him. He's comin' up for Christmas, so you'll get ta meet him" _if you stay, you will, won't you?_ "He didn't tell Lureen, but now he's 18, he's plannin' on bringin' alla his stuff with him and stay, finish high school up here and go to the University in Laramie."

"Lureen know you're alive?"

"Yeah, does now. Had ta tell her when it came ta filin' my taxes. She had a big hissy fit about it, but calmed down when I told her I'd divorce her up here and she could keep everythin' down there, so folks'd still think I was dead. Bobby says she's thinkin' a marryin' again, 'nother reason she didn't put up much of a real fuss. Divorce was final early this year. And don't worry, she ain't gonna tell anyone about me, too much at stake for her if she does."

Ennis thought for a minute, and decided to ask a question that needed to be asked, even if he trespassed on more ground than he'd rather right then. "Darlin'? Yer pa said some other guy was up here, too, gone now."

Jack sighed. "Damn! Speakin' a stupid…"

"There's more?"

Jack stuck out his tongue at Ennis, who feigned a nip at it but then turned serious. "Jack, ya don't hafta tell me if ya don't wanta." _Yes, ya do, I gotta know._

_Yes I do, ya gotta know._ "Can't lie ta you any more, gotta get it all out. When I was ready ta come up here, I had no way a getting' here and couldn't take a chance on callin' Bobby or you, so I called Fred."

"Who?"

"Fred Tucker, a _former_ real good friend a mine in Childress."

The truth dawned on Ennis. "It weren't the foreman's wife, it were the foreman," he stated flatly, but not removing his hand.

"Yeah, the foreman. He nearly fell off his chair when he heard my voice, swore him ta secrecy 'n asked him for a favor, drivin' me up here. He agreed right away, but without sayin' nothin' to me, he told his wife he'd never loved her and was divorcin' her to be with someone else. Least he had the smarts not ta tell her it was me. Anyways, he came and picked me up and brought me here. Then he told me what he'd done, and was stayin' with me like he talked about. I know I was wrong, Bud," Jack said, still holding tight to Ennis, "but by that time you'd been here and my folks had told you I was dead, and you'd found the shirts…" Jack's voiced hitched at that. "There was nothin' a you left here, and seemed the best way for you ta have a life, so I let him stay. He knew he'd always be second-best, but he stayed anyways."

"You and him…"

"Yeah, me and him, him and me, we… I let him… and he let me… Pretty quick figured out we both'd made a big mistake."

"Yer pa said he never liked him, he wasn't worth a lick around here."

"Once again my Daddy's right. He sure weren't no Ennis del Mar when it came ta ranchin', or ta anythin' else, for that matter!" Jack eased his left leg forward, wincing as he did. He gave Ennis a small smile after that, but didn't fool Ennis. That was the leg that wouldn't be right again.

"Fred wasn't worth a lick around here. Had all the book-learnin' and knew how ta boss people around, but couldn't rope a calf or staple wire or muck a stall ta save his life. And then Winter came in, and he bitched about the cold for months on end. Finally couldn't take it no more, and threw him out end a May. Last I heard, he was down in Colorado workin' on some dude ranch outside Estes Park."

"Ya told Lureen and ya told that Fred fella, but ya never told me," Ennis whispered, hurt. "Ya coulda called me. I woulda come fer ya. Why didn't ya call me, or write ta me?"

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry for that. It hurt me somethin' fierce not ta call you. You don't know how bad it got… well guess you do, dontcha? Picked up the phone lots a times, never finished dialing. At first I was afraid if I let you know, afraid them guys would somehow find out about you and hurt both a us. Finally I convinced myself it was better this way, like I said, if you thought I was dead, you had a chance at a real life, no hidin' away from everyone, not getting' hurt like… like me… like ya was always afraid a happenin'. My momma has raked me over the coals more'n once about that decision, among others."

Ennis tightened his grip on Jack's hand. "Ain't gotta life without ya, Cowboy. Ya damn fool rodeo fuck-up. Know I never told ya ta yer face, but ya gotta know… I… umm… I…"

"Yeah, I know," Jack squeezed back, "and I do too, ain't lettin' you go again." They leaned into each other for a good strong kiss. Afterwards, Jack put his other hand around Ennis', and talked into the three hands still lying on his thigh. "Can you ever forgive me? If you decide ta leave, I'll understand. After twenty years, I shoulda known ta trust you more'n anyone else, musta had my brains scrambled or somethin', 'cause I sure didn't think straight for a long time. Am now." Jack looked up at Ennis. "Please forgive me, Enn."

Ennis pondered all that Jack had said as he stared at the two strong calloused sun-browned hands cradling his. _Just as much my doin' as his, always pushin' him away. Can't push him away again. _

"Well, I did make yer dad a promise."

"Shit! What did the bastard make you promise, Ennis?" Jack asked irritated at his father for demanding anything from Ennis. "Whatever it is, you don't have to be beholdin' to him, I'll take care a that."

"Don't mind bein' beholdin' ta yer pa this one time. Promised him that no matter what happened between me and this limpin' drunk rodeo-fuck-up pretendin ta work here, that I'd stay on," Ennis replied.

Now it was Jack's turn to stare at Ennis, not sure he heard right what Ennis was saying, but hoping he had read correctly the real meaning behind the spoken words. Ennis helped him out.

"Took me a long time ta figure out what really was between us, and when I did it scared the livin' bejesus outta me, made me push ya away even further. When I lost ya, when I thought ya were dead…" Ennis stopped to take a deep breath and plunged on. "…I nearly died too. Then I saw the shirts in yer closet, and I knew what we had and what I'd lost."

Ennis put his other had on Jack's two hands, and turned to him, and spoke earnestly, saying the unspoken.

"Jack, I love ya. I know what the Bible says and people say about it, and what yer pa thinks about it, and know it could get the both of us killed some day like it did Earl, but I do love ya. Don't have ta forgive ya fer what ya done, I'm as much or more ta blame myself. It's the past, and we're gonna forget it, ain't gonna let it tell us what ta do now. So, bein' I'm a man a my word, I'm gonna keep the promise I made to yer pa, and I'm makin' the same promise to ya. I'm stayin' here. Lost ya once, ain't gonna take a chance on losin' ya again. Fer better or worse, yer stuck with me, I mean after all, somebody's gotta look after ya, take up where yer pa left off 'n teach ya how ta be a real rancher."

"And you think you're just the one ta do that, do you?"

"I do, I know so."

"Yeah, so do I." Jack paused. "Thank ya, Ennis, for lovin' me and stickin' with me after all I done ta you. Guess I need ta thank my dad, too. Think I been a bit hard on him, been too much like him fer my own sake this past year, and him losing his leg and all, yeah, maybe he's changin' a bit. "

"Ya can thank me later, Cowboy. Got some real good ideas on just how yer goin' ta do it, too."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Uh-huh. I do."

"There you go, sayin' those words again."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you did, Ennis del Mar, 'n I do too."

"And one other thing, Jack Twist."

"Yeah?"

"From now on, ya need anythin', ya call me, not some other guy, just the two of us from now on. Got that?"

"You bet, Babe, you bet."

They sealed the deal with another kiss, this time with both arms around each other. Afterwards, they enjoyed the sunset while holding hands, until they heard the loud clanging of the age-old call to dinner on a ranch.

"Best be gettin' in and cleanin' up for dinner. Dad don't take kindly ta havin' ta wait for his supper," said Jack. Ennis helped him up, and after a quick hug and kiss, they headed 'round the corner of the barn and walked hand-in-hand towards the house, not caring who saw them just then.

Mr. Twist let the kitchen curtain fall from his hand, and turned his wheelchair towards his wife. After closing the back door on her way in, she'd taken the roast out of the oven and was bringing it to the table on a platter. He reached onto his lap and set the fourth plate onto its proper place at the table, the same place Ennis had sat in just over a year ago. Smiling at his wife, he said, "Looks like someone else has come home ta stay, permanent-like."

_The End_


	2. Chapter 2

_Homecoming II_

_Thanksgiving 1984_

Ennis pulled up to the curb and parked their truck in front of the tidy bungalow-style house with a cement driveway leading to a double garage behind the house. He knew it was the right house, right street, right address. That and the blue Ford LTDII stationwagon with the fake-looking wood decals on the sides, parked in the driveway next to the pick-up truck. The house stood on a half-acre of land on the outskirts of Billings, one of many similar houses in the area and on that street. Mature elm trees planted decades ago in the narrow parkway between the curb and sidewalk formed a canopy over the street, bare now after the early November frost, but promising cooling shade in the summer months to come, their well-established roots gently heaving parts of the sidewalk and curb. _They've done well already, better than I ever did for Alma and them_.

After turning off the engine, they both just sat in the truck. The late November sun provided some warmth, but could not stave off the cold that slowly crept into the truck, starting around their feet and moving upward. Ennis left his hands on the wheel, alternating opening and closing them, looking straight ahead as though searching for a way out. Jack finally shifted in his seat, reached over and rested his hand on Ennis' thigh.

"How're ya doin'?"

"Fine."

"Ya don't look it. Ya look as if you're ready to jump outta yer skin."

Ennis let out a big breath, and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "I am a bit nervous about this. I'm not really sure how Junior's gonna react ta seein' ya."

"Ya told her I was comin', didn't ya?"

"Well, yes and no."

"Which means…"

"I asked her if it would be alright ta bring along someone very special that I wanted them to meet, someone who… who means a whole lot ta me, and she said okay."

"But…"

"I never said it was you."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah, oh shit."

They sat in silence for another minute, the seconds slowly ticking by on Jack's wristwatch.

Glancing sideways at his man sitting tense in the passenger's seat, Ennis sighed and stretched his arm along the back of the seat to make contact. He massaged the back of Jack's neck, and said, "You okay?"

"Just a little stiff from the ride, is all."

"Not what I meant."

"I knew that. Yeah, 'bout as okay as I can be headin' into the house of my boyfriend's daughter and son-in-law ta meet them for the first time… well, second time for Junior… and they don't know I'm comin'."

"That all I am to ya, yer boyfriend?" Ennis teased, avoiding the "they don't know" issue.

Jack responded by looking over at him with the intensity of his love spilling out of his deep blue eyes. "You're more than 'someone very special' to me, Enn. You're everythin' to me, my best friend, boyfriend, partner, lover, everythin'."

The look Ennis gave Jack in return warmed Jack to his core, despite the chilly November air. He squeezed Ennis' thigh, and Ennis squeezed his shoulder.

"Aren't we a pair," Jack finally said, ruefully. "We're sitting here freezin' our asses off when we could be inside a nice warm house. Not that I mind, but…"

"Best be goin', then, and find out whether my daughter still wants me for her father."

"And if she don't?"

"Then we leave… together, I won't be leavin ya behind while I stay. We're together, Jack, and if Junior can't accept that, I'll go. I won't like it, but I'll go. I'll try again later, but not without you." The quiet firmness in his voice told Jack more than the words he spoke. Still, it didn't mask the apprehension he felt, they both felt, about what would happen when they came face to face with Junior and Kurt.

Jack smiled, that special just-for-you smile, and leaned across the seat. Without speaking, Ennis leaned over to meet him. They kissed briefly. Pulling back, Jack squirmed in his seat. "Shit, don't wanta meet my daughter-in-law and son-in-law sportin' a hard-on. What ya do ta me, Ennis del Mar! … What?"

"That how ya see them, as yer in-laws?"

"Yeah, I do. What else would they be, when they're yer daughter and her husband?"

Ennis was silent, contemplating this new facet of their relationship. _Damn, I do love you, too, Cowboy._ Adjusting his own jeans, he said gruffly, "Best be getting' in there before we really do freeze our…"

"Or they wonder just what we're doin' out here," laughed Jack.

Ennis swatted the back of Jack's head, removed his arm from around him, and got out.

Inside, Kurt had heard a vehicle pull up out in front. Looking out the front window, he recognized his father-in-law's truck, but couldn't see who was with him. He knew it was "someone very special" to him, as Junior had told him her Daddy had said on the telephone, but he just didn't know who that person was. He watched as they sat in the truck for a spell. When Ennis and his "someone very special" finally got out of the truck, Kurt's eyebrows raised. _A man. Whoa! Wonder if sweetie knows about this?_

He called into the kitchen, "Sweetie? They're here!"

"Already? They're early," Junior called back. "Can you see her? What does she look like? Are they kissing?"

"Well… umm…"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, honey!" Junior appeared from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron, talking as she was walking. "Let me see." See looked out the window and saw her father walking around the back of the truck, heading towards a man in a black hat waiting by the passenger side of the truck and holding a small brown bag. She got a good look at the other man, and the color drained from her face. _I know that face, but… he's dead! Isn't he? But… What…?_

Her father looked better than he had in over a year, maybe ever. He stood straight, walked without that shuffle he had developed. When her father and the other man met up beside the truck, they stood there briefly looking at each other. Junior took in the emotions that passed over their faces, especially her father's face. She recognized several, one her father had worn when he was getting ready to leave on his fishing trips, one her father gave her as a child every now and then, one her father gave her mother when he came to pick up Francie and her for their too infrequent visits after the divorce, one her father had given her just before walking her down the aisle on her wedding day, one she and Kurt shared… And that smile; she hadn't seen that small upturn of the right side of his mouth since… And then the other man handed the bag to her father, and gently took her father's elbow and propelled him forward towards the house, letting go as her father put one foot in front of the other. They walked side-by-side up the walk, once bumping shoulders and trading a glance.

Junior's face fell and the tears began to well up. _No, No, No… _

Without looking at him she told her husband, "Don't let them in. You hear me? Don't let them in. I _don't_ want them in my house." Then she turned and fled down the hall to their bedroom, shutting the door firmly after her.

"Sweetie?" he called after her, but she didn't stop. "Sweetie?" The bedroom door closed with a bang. "Okay." _Okay._

Just then the doorbell rang, but the door didn't open immediately. _Funny, he always just walked in before._ Kurt opened the door and found Ennis standing on the porch with the other fellow slightly behind him. "Hi, Dad," he greeted Ennis from behind the closed screen door. _Have to put in the storm windows one of these days,_ he thought aimlessly.

"Hi, Kurt, Happy Thanksgiving."

They stood there awkwardly, eying each other, one on the inside, two on the outside, one holding the handle of the screen door, one holding a small brown bag.

"Is this your special friend?"

"Umm, yeah," Ennis answered uncomfortably, wondering why they were still on the porch and Kurt hadn't invited them in. Flustered, Ennis turned to Jack, and held out his hand to usher him forward. "Jack, this is Kurt Holder, Junior's husband. Kurt, this here's Jack Twist. He's my… my…" He turned to Jack, looking for help. _My other half, my lover, my best friend, my…_ Jack smiled back at him as if he had heard every word Ennis had thought, and then looked over at Kurt.

Kurt looked between the two of them, Ennis standing so near to Jack, almost defiantly, protectively. Jack standing next to Ennis, but not in his shadow, protectively, looking Kurt straight in the eyes.

"Partner," Jack said, supplying the right word.

"Partner," Kurt said, repeating the word, accepting its meaning. "Howdy, Jack, nice to meet you."

"Hi, Kurt, nice ta meet ya, too." _I think. What's goin' on here?_

Still the door remained closed.

"Kurt?" asked Ennis after another awkward pause. "What's goin' on? What aren't ya sayin'? How come we're still standin' out here?"

Now Kurt was flustered. Taking a breath, he pushed the words out without stopping. "I heard you drive up and looked out the window, watched you get out of the truck. Junior was in the kitchen. When I told her you were here, she started asking all sorts of questions about what… uh… 'she' was like. I didn't have a ready answer, so she walked over and took a look for herself. She saw the two of you standing by the truck and she got this funny look on her face, like she was seeing a ghost or something, and then she got a look I've never seen before. Couldn't tell really what happened, but when you two started up the walk, she stomped off to the bedroom after telling me not to let you in. Before I could go to her, you rang the bell. You know the rest. I'm sorry, Dad, I'm really sorry." And they could tell he was by the tone of his voice.

Ennis and Jack looked at each other. Ennis' shoulders slumped a bit and his face fell. He looked down, suddenly feeling tired and worn out, his worst fear confirmed. Despite knowing something like this could happen, he had convinced himself that it wouldn't, that everything would be okay, that they'd sit around the dinner table and be a family. But that wouldn't happen today, and maybe it never would. And if it never did, what would he do? The reality of her rejection was almost too much for him.

He couldn't talk. He just couldn't talk. He stood there. He just stood there, clutching the small brown bag. He just stood there, feeling adrift but knowing he shouldn't feel that way. _She hates me. Jack loves me. Partners._

Jack recognized that look on his partner's face, one he hadn't seen in weeks, one he'd hoped he'd never see again. He stepped closer and put his right hand on Ennis' back between his shoulders and rubbed him a little. "You okay?" he asked softly.

Ennis didn't flinch at Jack's touch; he even leaned in for some support.

Without taking his hand away, Jack said to Kurt, "We were hopin' things would be different, but… well… they are what they are." Jack gave Kurt another small smile. "We'll be stayin' overnight at the Howard Johnson's down next ta the freeway, and leave after breakfast tomorrow. If Junior has a mind ta talk to her daddy and me, ya can find us there." Jack took the small brown bag from Ennis and held it out to Kurt. "A little something ta go with yer Thanksgiving dinner."

Kurt opened the screen door, accepted the package from Jack, and let the door close. He opened the bag and pulled out a bottle of white wine, a Chenin Blanc from a winery in California. "Thank you, thank you very much. I wish…" The wish went unspoken as his voice trailed off, but they all knew what it was and shared it with him. Jack and Kurt nodded to each other.

Jack turned back to Ennis. "Come on, Enn, we'd best be goin'." He took Ennis' hand and coaxed Ennis towards the porch steps. Ennis didn't balk when Jack took his hand; in fact he gripped Jack's hand tightly like drowning man in a stormy sea gripping a life preserver thrown to him, and allowed Jack to pull him towards the steps. They walked hand in hand down the steps and back down the walk.

When they reached the truck, Jack opened the passenger door and guided Ennis in. He walked around the truck and opened the driver's side door. Before he got in, he looked back at the house. Kurt still stood behind the screen door. Jack gave a small wave of his hand, and Kurt waved back. Jack thought he saw something move behind the curtains in the front window, but dismissed it as wishful thinking. He got into the truck, closed the door, fastened his seatbelt and made Ennis do the same. Ennis had his hands in his lap and stared out the windshield. Jack reached over and took one of his hands, rough hands, hands of a man who had worked all his life, hands of the man he had loved for most of his adult life, hands of the man who had loved him for most of his adult life. "I love you, Bud."

Ennis nodded his head in agreement, and looked down at the two hands entwined. "Forever, Cowboy."

Jack started the truck and, without another glance towards the neat bungalow with the double garage in back and a truck and stationwagon in the driveway on a tree-lined street in an established neighborhood on the outskirts of Billings, he steered the truck back towards the freeway and the Howard Johnson's.

They checked into a room with two queen beds, just as the reservation said. Jack had wanted to reserve a single king-sized bed, the looks of the desk clerk be damned, but knew Ennis well enough not to cross over that line just yet and especially not now. Once in the room, Ennis lay down on the bed, facing away from Jack while he made a phonecall. Ennis wanted to stay there curled up in a ball on the bed, but Jack would have nothing of it. "We are not going to mope around here. It's Thanksgiving and I wanta share a turkey dinner with all the trimmin's with my family. I made us a reservation for dinner downstairs in an hour, so get yer sorry ass in gear, dumbass del Mar, splash some water on yer face, comb yer hair, and let's go downstairs for a drink while we're waitin'."

Those words jolted Ennis. "Ain't got family here, Jack. Junior threw us out, and yer folks is hours away, and Bobby's all the way down in Texas, or have ya forgotten?"

"I haven't forgotten anythin'. When I said family, I didn't mean any of them, Enn, I meant you, just you. You're all the family I need, and if you're all the family I ever have any more, then that's more than enough for me for the rest of my life, or haven't ya figure that out yet?"

Ennis contemplated that for about 2 seconds, and responded, "Yeah, I figured that out, just needed ya to kick me in the ass ta remind me… again." He grabbed Jack and hauled him down onto the bed on top of him. They stared at each other from inches away, seeing each little fleck in the eyes of the other, each fine wrinkle at the corners, each tiny freckle. "And speakin' of asses…"

They kissed and groped, removed clothes and let hands roam freely, smoothing out the edges of the hurt inflicted by Junior. They reminded each other in words and caresses and deeds what each had known for over 20 years, that they had found love and had nearly lost that love, but still had that love, and nothing and no one could take that away from them, ever.

About an hour later, a thoroughly satisfied, recently showered, and somewhat smiling pair of polite middle-aged men walked up to the hostess at the hotel restaurant. The room was about half full, being mid-afternoon and the football games not over yet. As they walked through the room, a few people glanced up to watch them walk by. All those that did take notice nodded to them, some also said "hi", as they walked by. Ennis just nodded back, glad to be with Jack, disquieted by all the attention on the two of them, missing being at Junior's house. Jack said "hi" back to all who greeted them, glad to be with Ennis, knowing Ennis would be nervous having so many strangers see them together, missing being with him at Junior's house. Neither showed outwardly their inner turmoil as they walked through the restaurant.

The hostess led them to a nice booth on the far side of the restaurant away from the windows. The table was set for two though the booth could seat four, with a tablecloth and cloth napkins, silverware, a side plate with a small knife on it for rolls and butter, two glasses for water, and fresh flowers next to a ceramic turkey flanked by two lighted votive candles in cut-glass holders.

They sat down, Jack facing the side windows, Ennis facing into the room towards the door, and the hostess handed them the special Thanksgiving menu. One price, came with choice of turkey, ham or prime rib, or a little of all three, seconds and even thirds okay if you had a mind to eat that much, tossed salad and coffee and dessert included, alcoholic drinks extra. The waiter came over wearing a nametag that announced he was "Mark." He took their drink order, whiskey with soda for Jack, on the rocks for Ennis, and promised to return shortly with their drinks and the wine list. A busboy came by at the same time, delivering right-from-the-oven Parker House rolls, a dish with pats of butter on ice, and a dish with celery, carrots and olives of various shades and sizes.

After the waiter and busboy had left, they both reached for a roll at the same time and their fingers met in the middle. Neither pulled back, since the same thing happened often enough at home, even once at Maggie's Place in Lightning Flat. "Go ahead," said Jack with a smile, and Ennis did, after which Jack chose his roll.

They enjoyed their warm rolls in an easy silence, other than exchanging some words about whether to have some wine with dinner. When until the waiter came by with their drinks, Jack ordered a glass of white wine for each of them but to hold off bringing it until later with the main course. Then they ordered the rest of their meals, turkey and all the trimmings for both of them; it was Thanksgiving, after all.

Jack raised his glass of whiskey to make a toast and looked into Ennis' eyes. "To family," he said, using his words from earlier. "To us," Ennis replied quietly in agreement while raising his glass, "and to the absent members of our family." They knocked their glasses together, and took a sip of their drinks, pondering whether their family could ever be expanded again. Under the table, in the dark, Jack let his right boot slip across the carpet and rub against Ennis' left leg. After that, it rested back on the floor touching Ennis' boot. Ennis didn't move his boot away.

"It'll be okay; it'll take some time, but things'll work out," Jack murmured over his drink. "Maybe even tomorrow."

"Hope so," Ennis murmured back. "I really hope so. But if it don't, well, I still got plenty to be thankful for this day. Got you back, got my life back, got a real home, got a good job even if I don't got the best boss…Ow! [in response to a quick jab of the toe of Jack's boot into his leg]… got enough to carry me for lotsa years ta come, Cowboy, the rest of my life."

Jack could hear the hurt in Ennis' voice saying the first words, but smiled at his other words of thanks. He gripped his glass, the emotion of the moment getting to him. "Ya still say a mouthful with just a few words, Enn. I feel the same way too. I got so much to be thankful for this year, got you, made peace of sorts with my dad, got a home, almost balances things out. I'm lookin' forward now, not back. Guess we really are a pair, eh, partner?"

"Yeah, right, partner."

While eating their salads [ranch dressing for Ennis, thousand island dressing for Jack], Ennis asked, "When did ya do it?"

"Do what?"

"Get us a room here?"

"Coupla days after ya told me we were comin' up here for Thanksgiving."

"How'd ya know?"

"Know what?"

"Ta get us a room?"

Jack put down his fork, wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin, and leaned back, hands in his lap. "Just a hunch, kinda thought we might need it, ya know, just in case… I don't know Junior that well, hell, hardly at all, but she's lived with yer ex for a lotta years, and I was afraid some of those hard feelin's of Alma's may have rubbed off onta Junior once she found out about… ya know, _us_. So, I thought we should, ya know, should maybe have a back-up plan, just in case…"

Ennis looked at him appreciatively. "Glad ya thought of it. I didn't wanta drive all that way back today to an empty house." He took a sip of his drink, and hesitated slightly. "Maybe tomorrow, before we leave, we could… umm… drive over ta Junior's and see if she'll talk to us."

"Us?"

"Yeah, us. Brought ya here ta meet her and Kurt, and ta have them meet you proper. I want her ta know who ya are and what ya mean ta me. Gotta try one more time before we go."

"And if she won't let you in and don't wanta talk ta ya?"

"Then like I said, we leave together and go home together, and make our life together. We still got Bobby and yer folks."

_Home. Our life together._

Just then Mark walked up with their dinner plates, heaped high with roast turkey, mashed potatoes, mashed yams, stuffing, fresh cut green beans, and creamed corn. The busboy accompanied Mark, and dropped off a bowl with gravy and a bowl with cranberry relish. "Anything else I can get you?" Mark asked.

"Just the wine," replied Ennis.

"Yes sir, I'll have that brought over."

They started tackling the food in front of them, clearly enjoying the various tastes and smells, the only sounds being truthful "umms" and nods of the head signaling how good the food was. A few minutes later, Mark placed two glasses of white wine on the table. Again, they toasted each other.

After the pumpkin pie and pecan pie with whipped cream on top, they relaxed over cups of steaming black coffee, strong enough to float an axe-handle, just like they liked it.

"She ain't comin', ya know," said Jack softly, his words moving across the top of the cup of coffee hovering in front of his lips. Ennis looked at him, wondering. "Seen ya lookin' over at the door every now and then."

Ennis put his coffee down and tried to read his fortune in the depths of the black brew. "I know, but I was hopin' different," he replied.

"There's still tomorrow. We'll go by after breakfast on our way home."

_Home. With Jack. Wherever he is. Home. How could I have been so… so… all these years. Took a two-by-four up the side of my brain to see clear._ He didn't reply, just looked at his Jack.

"What?"

"Home. We both said 'home'." Ennis took another sip of his coffee. "I like the sound of that."

"Yeah, home, our home, the ranch… for now at least, maybe forever… for as long as you want it… and after that, if that day ever comes, then wherever you want to go, Enn. Wherever you go, I go, we go." Jack spoke into Ennis' eyes, oblivious of any looks which anyone else may have given them, though he need not have worried on that score, since everyone else in the room was busy with their own business and hardly gave them a glance.

"Ain't goin' nowhere without you, and yer folks need us, and… well… I kinda need them, too, more'n a little bit… they make me feel like I have a family again. Even yer pa." Ennis shook his head slowly. "After all them stories ya told me over the years, to have yer pa like he is…"

"Yeah, wonders never cease, and I ain't lookin' that gift horse in the mouth. Him and me, we got a long way ta go after what he done ta me for so many years, but he and ma are sure workin' hard at makin' up fer lost time. That's another thing I'm real thankful for today, Enn. I like it, and I want it right now, and I'm glad ya feel the same. Maybe after they're gone…" He shrugged as his voice trailed off, not something he wanted to dwell on right then. Ennis wanted to reach across the table to touch Jack's hand; Jack wanted to do the same; but they couldn't, so they didn't. Then again, they didn't have to. Not any more. Instead, they both sipped their coffee.

Mark brought over the bill, and asked if they needed anything else, which they didn't. Jack signed the bill, putting down their room number, and they got up and walked across the room to the lobby. Jack noticed that Ennis was dragging his feet and had glanced more than once towards the main entrance to the hotel.

"Hey, Enn."

"Yeah."

"I don't feel like goin' up ta the room right now. How's about we hit the pub for a while, watch one of the games, maybe shoot some pool?"

Ennis considered it. _Two of us together, haven't done that much… wonder what folks will think about… shit, won't think nothin', just two friends with no families out for a drink on Thanksgivin'…_ "Sure, let's go."

The sign over the door to the bar read "The Lame Duck", and had a picture of a white duck with a red bandage around one wing. Inside, it looked like a pub from England or Ireland. The bar was on the left, and across from it on the right several comfortable looking chairs and sofas were grouped around a large fireplace set with a blazing fire. Further down more overstuffed chairs faced a large television set, with wooden tables and chairs spread around the room. An old-time juke box sat against the far wall next to a small dance floor. Dark paneling with picture of folks in red jackets and white pants standing next to horses and dogs finished off the place.

They had laid claim to the sofa nearest the fireplace, and just sat next to each other for awhile, talking, staring into the flames, thinking. It didn't get past Jack that Ennis chose this particular sofa because it also had a view of the entrance to the bar and the lobby beyond.

After first watching parts of two football games, then the news, they watched some made-for-TV movie that left both of them shaking their heads. "Why in hell didn't she scream and turn on the lights, fer God's sakes?" wondered Ennis. "Same reason she went in there in the dark alone in the first place, just plain stupid," responded Jack.

Around 6:00 the bartender announced Happy Hour, and a waitress set a table with hors d'ouevres. Everyone in the bar helped themselves, and shared "howdys" and innocuous conversation about the weather, the food, the results of the games, and anything else that came to mind. A couple of quarters dropped into the juke box and an older couple started the dancing. Jack entered a darts tournament, and did fairly well, while Ennis watched from a barstool which happened to have a view of the entrance to the bar.

Finally their internal rancher clocks told them in no uncertain terms that the day was over. Rather than walking, the rode the elevator up to their fifth-floor room. Ennis secured the door behind them, _no one's gonna get us tonight_, while Jack headed into the bathroom and closed the door. Ennis peeled off his clothes, pulled the bedspread off of the bed, and dropped onto the cool clean sheets with a groan. He pulled the covers over him, and curled into a ball facing away from the bathroom door.

Jack soon emerged from the bathroom, shirtless, his jeans already unbuckled and unbuttoned except for the top one. He sat down on the edge of the bed to pull off his boots.

"Better brush yer teeth and do yer business before lights-out, Bud," admonished Jack, boots hitting the floor one after the other.

"Later." Ennis pulled the pillow over his head.

"Huh-uh, not later, do it now." He stood up and pulled off his jeans, drawers and socks.

"Shit, you ain't my momma," came the muffled reply.

"Glad you noticed that, but I am yer boyfriend and I ain't gonna be kissin' ya and makin' mad passionate love ta ya, or lettin' ya do the same ta me, until ya do."

Ennis pulled back the pillow and looked over to see an aroused Jack standing by the bed with his hands on his hips, wearing nothing but a smirk. Ennis's eyes opened wide, sleep and cares pushed aside by the beauty before him. He gave Jack one of those oh-boy-can't-wait-and-don't-you-fuckin'-dare-start-without-me looks. Then he scrambled over the bed past Jack, stealing a back-in-a-minute kiss, and earning a slap on the ass in the process. On his way to the bathroom, he picked up his dopp kit.

In what seemed to Jack to be hardly any time at all, Ennis re-appeared from the bathroom, his breath fresh and his ass pre-lubed for immediate mad passionate loving. He turned off the lights and joined Jack on the bed, laying his body on top of Jack, shoulder to toes. Ennis quickly discovered that Jack's ass was similarly ready as they kicked the covers off the bed, kissed, rolled, probed, rubbed, moaned, and whispered their love to each other. Jack started on the bottom, switched to the top, moved back to the bottom, getting and giving, sucking and fucking, driving away demons, reinforcing their dreams. They ended up spent and glowing, facing each other, holding hands under the covers as they drifted off to sleep.

_Jack fuckin' Twist._

_Ennis fuckin' del Mar._

Sometime in the darkness of the night, Jack stirred to wakefulness, roused by a noise which he quickly recognized. His heart near breaking, he put his arm around Ennis, and gently made him turn toward him. After kissing away the tears, he lay back and pulled Ennis close. Ennis soon fell asleep cradled in Jack's arm, his head on Jack's shoulder, his own arm around Jack's waist, holding onto his personal anchor.

Their waitress, "Audrey" according to her nametag, set down their breakfasts in front of them, three eggs scrambled, bacon and sausage, hash browns, warm biscuits, fresh fruit. "More coffee? Anything else I can get ya?"

"More coffee would be great, thanks."

They ate in comfortable silence, lost in thoughts of yesterday. Each knew what the other was thinking, without having to say a word. Couldn't do much while sitting at a table in the coffee shop, but two boots did touch under the table, unnoticed by all but those wearing the boots. It hadn't slipped by Jack that Ennis once again took the chair facing the door to the coffee shop.

_Still hopin'._ Jack forked another half of a sausage into his mouth.

_Yep. Always will, ya know._ Ennis stuck a chunk of cantaloupe with his fork, and lifted it to his mouth.

_Yep, I know, and I'll be right there hopin' with ya, always will, ya know._ Jack took a bite of his scrambled eggs.

_Yep._

"On our way home, how about doing some lookin' around, maybe catch some lunch someplace? No sense in pushin' it, Zack'll be watchin' things today and tomorrow."

Ennis shrugged. "Sure, don't mind…" He stopped in mid-sentence, looking over Jack's shoulder towards the entrance.

"What?" Jack turned around. _Well I'll be…_

Kurt walked up to the table and stood there, hat in hand, his fingers working the edge of the brim. "Mornin', Dad. Mornin', Jack."

"Mornin'," replied Jack.

"Mornin'. Um… is Junior…" Ennis hesitated, looking behind Kurt.

"No, I came alone."

"Oh." Disappointment. Defeat.

"You mind if I sit down for a minute? Or if you'd rather, I can wait in the lobby until you're finished with breakfast?"

Jack and Ennis traded glances. _Your call, Bud._

"Sure," said Ennis, "sit down."

Kurt draped his coat and hat over one chair, and sat in the opposite one. They all shook hands as he sat down. Audrey hustled over, and then brought a cup of coffee for Kurt and refilled Jack's and Ennis' cups. Jack and Ennis sat there without saying anything during this, their eggs cooling rapidly despite the warmth of the situation. The morning breakfast crowd had already pretty much cleared out, so they had their end of the room to themselves.

"Well," Kurt said, clearing his throat. "I… I wanted to talk with you before you left."

"Junior know you're here?" asked Jack before Ennis could ask it.

"No, she thinks I'm headed to the office, which I am, got a call earlier, they got some problem… so I took off, but came over here on my way, just in case."

The three sipped their coffees, not sure how to proceed from there.

Ennis looked over at Kurt. They really hardly knew each other, having met only a couple of times before the wedding, and about the same afterwards since he and Junior had moved to Billings just two months later. Yet, Kurt called him "Dad", and had accepted his Jack yesterday and had easily shaken his hand today. Ennis felt he owed something to his son-in-law.

"Kurt, I'm glad ya came, even if ya are alone. Not sure how Junior will feel when she finds out, but I'll let you figure that out."

"Damn, I was hoping for some advice on what to do."

"None ta give." _Wish I did have some advice, somethin' from all those times I lied to Alma and the kids, but I don't._ "So, tell me, why did ya come?"

Kurt started in. "Junior spent most of yesterday afternoon in our room, but we did talk, off and on. She's angry, confused, hurt, sad, all mixed up. One minute she never wants to see you again, and the next she's crying' because she thinks she never will."

"Is it because of Jack?"

"Partly. She told me she thought you were dead," gesturing at Jack, "because her daddy told her that, and seeing you alive came as a shock. She thinks you lied to her about it," gesturing at Ennis, "but then says you couldn't have because of how you acted over the past year and some."

"I didn't lie," said Ennis wearily. "I said what I'd been told, that Jack had died in an accident, and they'd had his… and then had sent part of his… of his… ashes… sent ta his parents. I went ta see them and they said the same thing, and it hit me, that I wasn't goin' ta see my Jack ever again."

"An accident? That why you have that limp?" Kurt stammered, "I mean, I saw you walking and…"

"That's okay. I do have a permanent reminder of that day. And while were on the subject, it wasn't some kinda 'accident'," _except ta trust that sonofabitch, ta drink too much and say too much at the wrong time, ta stay married to Lureen for too long,_ "if ya get my drift, but like Sam Clemens said, the reports of my death turned out to be greatly exaggerated."

"How'd he know?" interrupted Ennis.

"Who?"

"That Sam Clemens fella. How'd he know?" demanded Ennis, sounding upset.

"About what?"

"About you not being dead. How come he knew too and I didn't? Why'd ya tell him but not me?"

Jack relaxed and smiled. "Enn, Samuel Clemens was a famous writer. He lived a hundred years ago, traveled all over this country and the world, and ended up back in Connecticut writing books and such using the name Mark Twain. He was talking about some people that spread rumors he'd died."

"Oh," said Ennis feeling a bit foolish. "So how'd you know all that?"

"High school sophomore English class, helping Bobby. It got to the point I was reading all of his book assignments, too."

Kurt sipped his coffee and took all of this in, watching the give and take between the two men sitting on either side of him. He realized then that what they had between them went deep inside them, was part of them, was what made them who they were. He set down his cup and cleared his throat.

"Sorry," said Ennis apologetically.

"Don't be. I've heard about Mark Twain, read two of his books in high school, but never heard about that comment before. Anyway… now that Junior's seen Jack alive, she also says she knows you lied to her and her mom and sister about lots of things for years. But I think most of all she just can't wrap her arms around the fact that you and Jack are together, that her father is… has feelings for another man and is living with him." Kurt had dropped his voice, wanting this to be just between them, as it should.

Ennis felt Jack's boot rub against his under the table, still providing an anchor for his emotions. Junior was right; he _had_ lied to Alma and the girls over the years, something he was not proud of. But he had never lied about Jack's death; he had said what he had known and believed. And he was ready to tell the truth about himself and Jack now.

"Kurt, son, I appreciate yer shakin' hands with Jack and accepting him, and callin' him my partner, 'cause that's what he is, my partner and more, and it ain't gonna change, no matter how much Junior or anyone else might want it to. Still, I've lived in these parts long enough to know what some people won't take kindly ta us being together, and I don't want ya ta have trouble at work or with yer friends over us. If ya feel have to be nice to me just on account of …"

Kurt cut him off, gently. "Dad, I meant what I said. Unlike my sweetie, I understand what you and Jack have together. And like her, I may never really completely understand why. But that doesn't mean I don't want you to be a part of our lives; far from it. You know, you're not the only… um... pair of guys that I know who feel the same way about each other. I've traveled a lot on my job already, you know, down to Louisiana and out to California and up to Alaska. I've met a lot of guys and made a lot of friends. Friends that I'd trust my life with on a rig. It doesn't matter whether they're… whether they're gay or straight; the only thing that matters is what kinda person they are and can they do the job when _my_ life depends on it." He looked at Ennis and then Jack, and back to Ennis.

"Besides, …and my folks and Junior don't know this, so please don't tell her… but one of my cousins on my mom's side is gay, too. My Aunt Louise keeps saying he just hasn't met the right girl. She's sort of right, only he just hasn't met the right guy yet."

"Well, that's just his business, not ours, not anyone else's," Ennis said, with a nod to Jack. _Sound familiar, Cowboy? _

"Nobody's but his," confirmed Jack. _Yep, been tellin' ya that fer years now, Enn, nice ta know ya finally agree with me fer real now._

"Thanks, Dad, it's the way I feel about it too. Look." He leaned forward just a bit for emphasis. "What really matters is what we have here." Kurt gestured with his hand, taking in the three of them and the empty chair opposite. "Junior and me, you and Jack, Francie, Alma and Bill, my folks, my cousin… you're our family. You hardly knew me when we got married, but trusted me to love and take care of your daughter, and told me so. You don't know how thankful I was to hear you say that. On our wedding day I swore to Junior I would love her and take care of her for as long as we live, but I was swearing that to you, too. I intend to keep my promise to both of you and to keep your trust. If it were just up to me, you and Jack would be sitting at our table right now, not in some coffee shop, and sleeping together in our guestroom, not on some lumpy bed in a hotel."

_Only lumps on that bed were…_

_Jack!!_

_Ennis…?_

A couple of casual looks and raised eyebrows spoke volumes between them, though without an interpreter Kurt didn't understand a single word unsaid.

Ennis thought about the promises that he'd made to Alma on their wedding day, promises that as he said them he knew he shouldn't make and couldn't keep. The seeds of the destruction of his and Alma's marriage were sown on their wedding day. And from the ashes of that eventual destruction had slowly risen his acceptance of his love for Jack, gaining in strength each year after that, only to be tested terribly last year and then sealed beyond breaking just a few weeks ago. He had made promises to Jack during these past weeks, promises he should have made long ago, promises he would keep for as long as they both should live.

"Thank you, son, thank you. You don't know how much that means to me too. I aim ta see that I deserve yer trust, too. Think it would it do any good if we went over ta the house this mornin' and talked ta Junior?"

"I don't think so, Dad, not today anyway. I think you need to give her a little more time. But someday it will happen, I'll do my level best to see to that. She still needs you to be a part of her life, and like I said I want you, both of you, to be a part of our lives and us to be part of yours. So please don't give up on her. "

"That goes without saying. We both want that, too, to be a part of yer lives, to see our… my… our… grandchildren grow up." Ennis blushed, a little startled at how that had come out. But he didn't back-track. _Forward, not backwards._ "I mean, if you and Junior ever get around ta havin' kids, which I hope ya do, we'd… you know… we'd..."

Jack looked over at Ennis, a mixture of surprise and happiness and love. _"Our" grandchildren, huh? If I hadn't already decided twenty years ago that I loved ya, those words woulda done me in for sure._

"Yeah, Dad, I know what you mean."

They shook hands in the lobby, reminded each other that the roads ran both ways between Billings and Lightning Flat, and went their separate ways. Kurt headed into the office, helped solve a few problems, made it home by 3:00, and had turkey chowder and leftover rolls for dinner, pumpkin pie for dessert. Junior claimed she had a headache, and went to bed before 8:00.

Jack and Ennis checked out of their room, and headed south on Interstate 90. Just over an hour into their trip, they left the freeway and drove to the Little Bighorn Battlefield National Monument. Standing on the small rise where General Custer fell, both Jack and Ennis felt a chill that had nothing to do with the November weather. It felt like they'd been there before, back then, maybe in another life.

Taking the long way home down Interstate 90, Ennis relaxed as they passed the "Welcome to Wyoming" sign with the cowboy on a bucking bronco; it always reminded him of Jack, even though he had ridden the bulls. Just south of Sheridan they took another sidetrip, and toured the Bradford Britton Memorial Historic Ranch, coming away with dreams of what their place could look like some day. In Buffalo they stopped for gas and a hamburger, and in Gillette to call Zack and let him know they'd be home early but wanted him to do the chores that day and the next morning anyway. They drove through the gates of the Ranch in the early afternoon, and parked under the cover next to the refurbished garage. They said hello and thanks to Zack who was just about ready to leave, and lugged their suitcases into the house to unpack. While Ennis took a nap, Jack scrounged in the refrigerator and found left-over Wednesday night tuna noodle casserole for dinner. They ate dinner and watched "Dallas" [_Who the hell ranches like that anyway? No damn cattleman I know! … Geez, Ennis, it's not about the cattle, it's about all them pretty women…and them good-lookin' guys. Now you take that Bobby … No way, Twist, you ain't takin' Bobby Ewing or anyone else but me. … Well, if you insist… Shit._], before turning off the lights and heading up the stairs to their room. They were in bed by 10:15… and asleep by 11:00.

The drawn curtains shut out most of the weak light of the waning moon, while the double locks on the doors downstairs would keep out anyone who would approach with bad intentions. In their almost pitch-black room, clothes lay wherever they had fallen. The table on one side of the bed held an alarm clock reading 1:18 and with the alarm turned off, a glass of water half full, and an almost empty tube of lube. The table on the other side of the bed held a telephone, a battered pocketwatch, and a framed picture of two cowboys on horseback.

From the king-sized bed came the soft sounds of even, peaceful breathing. The two men in the picture slept there, one with dark hair, one with sandy-blond hair, both with a sprinkling of gray about the temples. They lay on their left sides, the dark-haired man spooning the other from behind, his right arm around the other protectively, their right hands entwined close to the chest of the sandy-blond-haired man, the covers pulled all the way up to their necks. Sweat mixed with semen locked their skin together. Both were worn out from a day of driving, talking, sightseeing, eating, drinking, smiling, frowning, laughing, and crying, but especially from enjoying each other physically and mentally all alone in the darkness in their own bed in their own bedroom.

The slender shaft of light that did peek through the drawn curtains fell across relaxed faces, with what could be smiles gracing them. In unison in their dreams, they slept holding each other inside a tent under pine trees in the shadow of a tall snow-covered mountain, near a babbling stream fed by the melting snows from that mountain.

Bonds strengthened, passion fed, love confirmed, home forever, in each other's arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Homecoming III**

**Christmas 1984**

"You know, a watched pot never boils."

"Huh? What? What does that have to do with… anything?"

"Haven't you heard yer Momma say that?"

"Yeah. So?"

Heavy sigh. "It means, just because you constantly look out the window towards the road, it don't mean he'll get here any sooner."

"I know that, it's just that I'm worried. He shoulda been here yesterday, and now it's Christmas Eve and he isn't here yet."

"Jack, it's a long drive, and he called from the gas station in Casper a few hours ago, he'll be here soon. Now, why dontcha sit down and relax?" Ennis patted the seat cushion next to him on the couch, and Jack reluctantly came over and sat down. Ennis put his arm across the back of the couch and around Jack's shoulders. Jack had held him together over Thanksgiving, now he would take care of Jack. "Nothin's gonna happen ta him, he'll be here soon enough and all in one piece."

Jack relaxed into his embrace. "I know, I know. But I know how far it is and how long it takes, and he isn't here yet. I made that trip enough times for twenty some years. But he's only made it alone once before, and not in Winter with all this bad weather. When I close my eyes, I keep seein' him in a ditch or somethin'…"

Ennis tensed ever so slightly at the mention of the twenty years of driving, but released it just as quick and hoped Jack didn't notice. One of the many regrets he still had for all those years apart, was making Jack drive all the way from Texas to Wyoming and him never driving anywhere out of the State. One of the many regrets he would do his best to make up for during the next twenty years and the twenty after that, and even longer if his most fervent wish came true.

"No buts. It's gonna be alright, you'll see." Ennis used his most soothing voice.

Jack smiled up at him, and tried to believe it, too. Ennis looked at the door to the livingroom, and seeing no one and hearing Jack's mom in the kitchen, he leaned in and kissed Jack quickly but firmly.

"No buts, huh? Thought you liked…"

"Jack," Ennis whispered, with a slight frown, "not here. Yer momma's in the kitchen and John's just down the hall." Then he added, "I do. Later."

"Promise?" Jack reached up and touched his cheek.

Ennis would promise anything to Jack, well almost anything, and this thing he could promise. "Promise."

They sat quietly for a few minutes, both listening for tires crunching on snow, without admitting it to the other.

"You found a nice tree. Still can't hardly believe you did it yourself."

"Wanted to surprise you and yer folks."

"You did. Amos give you a hard time?"

"Him? Nah, he was glad to sell another tree so close to Christmas, just a bit surprised that it was for yer folks, is all." Ennis put on his best imitation of Amos: "Ain't sold a tree ta John Twist in nearly 20 damn years, havin' his kid and you livin' there's made a difference, I can see that, so can my missus, good thing, too, they'd just about run the place inta the ground, what with John's accident and Jack havin' a bum leg, you sure are a good friend indeed."

"So he didn't give you the evil eye?" Jack said it lightly, but Ennis could feel the undercurrent of the unspoken question.

"No, just smiled and took my ten dollars."

"And if he had done it?"

Ennis pondered that unspoken, now spoken, question. "I woulda looked right back at him, and said thank ya kindly, and brought the tree home."

_Home, he said home._

"Ain't goin' nowhere any more, least not without you." Ennis said that low, quietly, followed by a kiss on Jack's head.

Jack shifted, so he could put his arms around Ennis' waist.

"Thank you," he said huskily.

Ennis didn't reply, just held onto his reason for living.

"Jackie, honey, can you help me for a minute." Elaine's voice from the kitchen broke into their moment.

"Sure, Ma, be right there." Jack struggled upright and stretched out his bad leg, rubbing it.

"You stay here, I'll take care of it"

"Thanks… seems like I say that to you a lot these days."

"Me, too."

As Ennis left, Jack stretched out on the couch, and looked again at the tree, almost mesmerized by the bubbles rising constantly in the colored bubbler lights, and the sparks of light glancing off the ornaments as the other tree lights blinked bright red and green and orange and blue. It reminded him of those Christmases away from Ennis, back in Childress, back in the old days. Those first few Christmases were fun, when Bobby was little and discovered something new and exciting every year. The three of them searched the tree lots for just the right tree, not wanting to buy the very first one they had seen, but sometimes going back and doing just that. Jack would cut off a bit of the trunk before setting it into the stand and adding the water. Then on went the lights, and garlands, and ornaments, every year a new ornament for Bobby. And finally, he would lift Bobby up high to put the star on the top, while Lureen took a picture of the two of them. After that, he would set up the tripod and set the timer on the camera, and get a picture of the three of them in front of the tree, to send with their cards. He always wanted to send one to Ennis, but didn't want to spook Ennis, so never did, just those damn impersonal postcards.

He shifted a bit on the couch, easing his stiff leg and the other aches from bones busted up on the rodeo circuit in his youth. Other Christmas memories came back, too. After those first years, as Lureen got more involved with the business, she found less time to go get the tree and put up the ornaments, until finally the year Bobby turned ten he came home from a quick sales trip to find a fancy tree already put up and decorated in the livingroom. Lureen simply said she had her decorator take care of it to save time and besides, it looked so much better without all those odd ornaments. Bobby and Jack had looked at each other, and the next day the two of them bought a small artificial tree for Bobby's room, on which they hung all his favorite ornaments. Lureen was irritated, but couldn't do anything about it, so from then on each year two trees appeared at the Twist household.

_Hope Bobby remembered his box of ornaments,_ was Jack's last thought before he allowed needed sleep to overcome him.

The low murmur of voices gradually seeped into his brain, and slowly waking him from his nap. He recognized one of them as Bobby's. After stretching while still lying down, he sat up, twisting his neck, shrugging his shoulders, working out the kinks. He smiled as he realized his boots were off his feet, on the floor next to the couch; Ennis must have done it without waking him. He padded in his stockings through the dining room towards the kitchen, but stopped short of the doorway, out of view, listening to the conversation between his mom, his partner and his son.

"… and he sounds so much better when I've talked to him these past two months, he's back to bein' the daddy I had when I was little. You've done so much for him, I don't know how to thank you enough, Mr. Del Mar."

"No need ta be thankin' me, Bobby. Yer daddy's done the same fer me, and we've been thankin' each other and your Grandma and Grandpa" _and the Lord God Almighty on high_ "every day for the second chance we got. And from what he's told me, I've got you ta thank for that second chance, too. If you hadn't come along…"

"Yeah, if something hadn't made me go looking for him…" Bobby's voice trailed off.

"And… uh… you can call me Ennis if you want to. Mr. Del Mar was my daddy, and he's long dead."

Bobby blinked. _Call me Ennis. Ennis._ The man who sat across the worn table appeared calm on the outside, but the occasional tremor in the hand holding the coffee cup showed inside he was wound as tight as the clock on the mantle above the fireplace. He was not just "Ennis". He was the person who made his father whole, who had brought his father peace and happiness after so many years of unrest and sorrow, and who in this quiet part of the world had himself found some peace and happiness. From telephone calls with his father, Bobby knew all about the heartache of Thanksgiving and how this almost shy man had begun to find the home he hadn't had since he was a child, a home to replace the series of roofs over his head, a home with a family who loved and cared for him. Bobby's father's words had told him, but his grandmother's looks had confirmed it. Bobby also realized how fragile this new feeling must be for all of them, and he wanted it to continue for all of them, including himself, forever. Bobby too craved that sense of family that had been missing through most of his own life. And Ennis had provided it, just by being there.

So, Bobby blinked, but did not hesitate. He made a quick, instinctive decision, one which was just right, the only one to make. As the years passed, Bobby would come to know just how right it was and the difference it made in all their lives.

"Sure, but, well… I know what you and Dad mean to each other… don't give me that look, I've known for a long time, remember? And it doesn't make a speck of difference in how I feel about you and him… and if things were different, you know, if you were a woman then Daddy and you'd get married… and I'd have a stepmom… not that I want dad to marry some gal... or want you to be a woman… or want a stepmom… I mean…um…" He stammered as he bulled through what he wanted to say. "Shit, this is hard."

"Robert! Language. And on the eve of the Lord's birthday!"

"Yes, Grandma, sorry. What I mean is, if things were the way I think they should be, then you two would be getting married… and you'd be my stepdad. Seeing as how you can't and I already have a Dad, would it be okay with you if I called you Pop?"

Jack nearly fell to his knees hearing that. Only a good grip on the side table kept him on his feet. After a few moments of silence, he heard Ennis' reply, and knew what it meant to all of them. With just a few words, his voice said so little and conveyed so much.

"I'd… I'd be proud to have a son like you, and mighty proud ta have ya call me that."

"Thanks…Pop."

Jack heard two chairs scraping, and could visualize his Ennis and his son standing and holding each other to seal their new family bond. The silence was deafening.

Jack decided to tiptoe back to the living room, intending to announce his arrival from there. Turning, he saw his father in the archway between the living room and the dining room, hands clasped in his lap. Jack walked over, sat down on a chair and reached out to him, touching his hands. John covered Jack's hand with his own. They whispered

"You heard?"

"Yep."

"You approve?"

"Ain't up ta me. Question is, do you?"

"Yep, with all my heart."

"Then ya best be getting' in there and greetin' yer son and partner. Sooner ya do that, the sooner I get my dinner." John tried to sound gruff. But they both knew the meaning of this moment in time. Jack squeezed his father's hand before standing.

"Well." Jack smiled as he recognized his mom's voice, and the tone of voice which said it was time to change the subject.

"Enough of that, we all got things to be thankful for, especially our family right here right now. Besides, it's Christmas Eve and almost time for supper before church."

"Yes, Elaine."

"Yes, Grandma."

"Come on, Bobby, let's get yer things from the truck before daylight's gone. You'll be livin' in yer dad's old room. Hope it's big enough to fit all that stuff ya brought."

"If not, there's always the basement, and the attic, and the barn…"

"Huh-uh, not the barn, not out there, need all the room we got for…"

Jack decided it was time to speak up.

"Bobby? Is that you?"

"Dad!"

They met in the middle of the dining room, sure enough in their relationship to hug each other without embarrassment.

"Merry Christmas, Dad."

"Welcome home, Son."

Looking over his son's shoulders, Jack caught sight of Ennis with one arm around his mom's waist. Their eyes met and they smiled together.

############

Christmas morning broke crisp and clear, with only a few stray clouds slowly wending their way eastward at the rear of the storm.

Bobby stretched in his Dad's old bed, allowing his arms to reach upwards before quickly withdrawing them into the burrow of warm blankets. _Damn, it's cold up here! That's gonna take some getting used to. No dip in the Gulf waters off Padre Island this New Year's. Too damn early to get up, still mostly dark outside, glad the rooster's cooped up inside. _His eyes closed and he decided to sleep in for a few more minutes before… _Great night last night, meeting Ennis… no, Pop…why did I say that?… putting my ornaments on the tree… Wait a minute! What am I doing? It's Christmas!_

Bounding out of bed despite the cold, he pulled on his jeans, a flannel shirt, and heavy socks before padding down the hall to the bathroom. Morning business finished, he headed to the stairs but stopped at the top when he heard voices downstairs in the kitchen.

"Surprised he ain't up already." _My new Pop, really my step-dad_._ Still kinda weird thinking about it._

"Thought I heard the bathroom, he musta gone back to bed. Had a long day yesterday, drivin in the snow, meetin you, haulin half his stuff into the basement." _That's my dad, overprotective as usual._

A sigh, followed by the sound of a cup setting onto the table.

"Got so much to be thankful for this year, so many presents already. First you, and now Bobby, all together here, safe and sound. Can you believe he remembered his box of ornaments?" Bobby could feel the wistfulness in his Dad's voice. "My own dad changing, after all we've been through… Guess there's a chance of having that sweet life after all."

"No chance of that."

"What dya mean, no chance?" _Yeah, what do ya mean, Pop?_

"No 'chance' thing at all, is what I mean. We got it and we're gonna live it, best we know how. Ain't gonna be easy, I… I… I still have those dreams, you know, the ones about you, and us, and Earl…" _Who's Earl?_ "But not so often or as bad as before, and now… well, like I said back of the barn when I got here, now I have you back I ain't ever leavin you."

"Me neither, cowboy, me neither."

Hearing this gave Bobby pause. He knew his Dad had strong feelings for Ennis, and that those feeling ran the other way. But now he knew for sure how deep Ennis' feelings ran for his Dad. He didn't know their whole story, but the sadness sometimes running underneath their words spoke volumes. Maybe someday they'd tell him, in their good time and on their own terms.

"Think we oughta wake him up?"

"Naw, let him sleep, like you said he had a long day yesterday."

"But it's Christmas morning!" _Yea, Dad!_

"All day, like every other Christmas."

"But… but… it's Christmas morning."

"Ah… you want him up just so you can open yer presents, that's it, isn't it?"

"Already opened the best present I could ever get, a few hours ago. And the best thing about it, it's a gift that keeps on giving every day all year long."

"Shhh… hush now, you want yer parents or Bobby to hear you? Nobody's business but ours, least ways that's what some blue-eyed ranchhand told me twenty years ago up…Mmmm…"

_Oh shit, they're kissing and talking about… Ugh, not my Dad and Pop… geez!_

Bobby stood up and tiptoed back to his room, shaking his head in hopes of shaking out the visions bouncing around in there. He pulled on his boots, then walked back down the hall and down the stairs, this time not trying to hide his approach. He entered the kitchen with a yawn and a "mornin', Merry Christmas", before kissing his dad on the cheek and giving his Pop a quick hug from the back, then heading for the white Mr. Coffee coffeemaker on the counter.

"Smells good, you make it Pop? Dad never could get it right."

Ennis snorted, which helped him cover up his feelings for this younger version of the man he loved. _Speakin of bein blessed, having Bobby accept me like this, only wish mine would, too._

"Yeah, couldn't take any more of that dishwater yer Dad calls coffee."

"Drink enough of it," retorted Jack.

"Haveta, don't wanta hurt yer feelings."

"Humph. Next time I'll make some cowboy coffee, leave it simmering on the stove all day 'til it's strong enough to float an axehandle, maybe then it'll be to yer liking."

"Maybe so."

Bobby poured a cup, offered refills which were accepted, and set about making another pot, as the three-way morning banter continued. They talked about parceling out the day's chores, scheduling future time for the work needed on the house, barn and stables, getting Bobby registered for school, dealing with Lureen over Bobby's decampment to the Twist Ranch. Unsaid was the feeling of belonging, that this was right for all of them, that this was their own family along with John and Elaine.

Soon enough another territory was heard from.

"Mornin', you three."

Bobby stood up and took the few steps over to where his Grandpa stood on crutches in the doorway to the kitchen, and gave him an awkward half-hug. "Morning, Grandpa. Merry Christmas!"

"Same to ya. You too."

"Merry Christmas, John.

"Merry Christmas, Dad. Get ya a cup of coffee?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." He eased himself into a chair, and Jack set down his dad's Wyoming State Fair 1968 cup in front of him, coffee with cream no sugar. "Thanks, son. So, what you boys up to so early, huh? Sittin around jawin like this, must mean the chores're all done."

"Not yet, just decidin' who'll be doin what and when, 's all."

"Well, don't let me keep ya from doin em, may be Christmas but the stock can't care for themselves."

Jack, Ennis and Bobby smiled at each other, nodded, and stood up to start their ranch day. John smiled inwardly at their retreating backs. Gruff exterior of old, hiding the warm interior of new.

An hour or so later three men responded to Elaine's ringing the call to breakfast.

Bobby came stomping in the back door last in his stocking feet, blowing warm air into his cold hands, grousing about the cold and the snow and how his fingers maybe got frostbite or something. Ennis could hardly hold back a smile. _Just like his daddy, been here just one day, cold already, next thing he'll be sayin'…_

"You know what? Next Christmas we oughta hire someone to watch the place for a week, and all take off to Hawaii or California or somewheres else that's warm."

_Yep, just like._

Elaine shooed them upstairs to clean up. The smells of cinnamon, bacon, sausages, and coffee made them hurry, and in hardly any time at all they sat down for their first Christmas meal as a family. John offered a blessing, remembering the Lord's birthday, thanking the Lord for the many gifts He had bestowed on them this past year, especially the permanent addition of Ennis and Bobby to their table, asking for His continued support during the coming year, and asking that the food before them would nourish them in spirit and in body.

For a while the sounds of knives and forks against china replaced most conversation, but soon enough the silverware rested on the sides of their plates having performed admirably their duty. The men all thanked Elaine for the wonderful breakfast as they sipped on their umpteenth cup of coffee of the morning. Elaine could see them casting restless glances towards the living room.

"What you say we open presents now?" she offered.

"Sure," "Sounds about right," "Okay," "I'll plug in the lights on the tree," "Let me have yer plate," "I'll rinse, you wash, you dry," came out all at once as the three boys stood up.

"Just leave the dishes for now, we can get to them after."

Gathering around the tree, John asked Bobby to play Santa this year, so he began digging through the assorted boxes, reading the names off the tags and handing them over. Bows and ribbons slid off, paper was torn despite Elaine's occasional remonstrance to "save that paper, it's a big piece and we can use it next year." They admired their gifts, thanking each other for their thoughtfulness.

Ennis looked up from the box he received from Jack, with a puzzled look. Then he held up two books, _The Adventures of Tom Sawyer_ and _The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn_.

"Thanks, Jack?"

"You're welcome. Editions from the '40s, found em through a bookstore in Cody. Hope you like em. Couple of pairs of reading glasses are in there, too, so's you can pick the one's best," he added with a grin.

Ennis snorted in disapproval, but knew he needed them and would use them.

"Hey, cool, I read both of those, you'll like them, can I see?" declared Bobby, who hadn't a clue about the underlying significance of the gifts. He looked over both, and found written on the fly-leaf of each:

To Ennis, from Jack, Christmas 1984

"What's this, Pop?" asked Bobby, pulling an envelope from inside _Tom Sawyer_.

Ennis frowned a bit. "Don't know, didn't see it." He opened the envelope, and found a brochure about jumping frogs in a place called Angels Camp way out in California. He turned to Jack with another questioning look.

"His first big story was about Angels Camp, up in the Gold Country in California, called _The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County._ He lived there for awhile back in the day, and wrote about it. They have a festival every year, complete with a frog jumping contest. Thought you might like to see it," Jack said casually, as if talking about spending a day at the Crook County Fair.

Jack picked up another envelope from the table beside the couch, and handed it over to Ennis. Inside were plane tickets to Reno, a truck rental, and then a two-week road trip: over the mountains and down through the California Gold Country to attend the jumping frog contest in Angels Camp, then into Yosemite National Park, and finally back up to Reno for their flight home.

"Jack, darlin'…" forgetting all who were present besides Jack, "you know I ain't traveled much, and this…this…"

"I know, I know, you ain't traveled much farther than around the coffeepot trying to find the handle. Well, you found the handle on this one, now it's time to travel around some other coffeepots."

Overcome, Ennis nodded then stood up, walked over, and pulled Jack into a hug. When Bobby expressed an interest in seeing all that with them, they both responded, together, "No way."

And so began a Christmas tradition. It took them years on years to visit all the places Sam Clemens wrote about and where he lived. One year it was _Life on the Mississippi, _with a brochure about steamboats and plane tickets to St. Louis for a trip on a riverboat down the Mississippi to New Orleans with a stop in Hannibal, Missouri, and three nights in the Big Easy before flying home. Another year it was _A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's _Court, with a brochure about Sam Clemens' house in Hartford, Connecticut, and plane tickets to New York City for a road trip to see Hartford and then through New England ending in Boston before flying home. In 2003, their 40th anniversary, it was _Innocents Abroad_, with brochures about Dublin, London, Paris and Rome, and tickets for a three-week European tour.

Their collection of unique coffeepots purchased on their travels made for good conversation when family and friends came to visit, which they did often.

##############

Merry Christmas to All!


	4. Chapter 4

**Homecoming 4**

**New Year's Day 1985**

**PART I**

Like John said, ranching don't stop for holidays and such, and New Year's Day was no exception. The stock still needed to be checked and fed, ice broken in water troughs, stalls mucked out, tack checked and repaired, eggs collected, trash burned, and all those other things done that needed doing every day. What better way to start the New Year, than to put in a good day's work?

They started at sun-up as usual, before heading in for a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage, blueberry buckle coffeecake, juice and coffee.

"What's up with the windbreak fencing by the trees in the northwest? They gonna last 'til Spring?" asked John between bites.

"Checked em yesterday, looked fine, should do okay this season, but some of it'll need replacin' in the Fall," replied Jack, taking another bit of sausage. "Mom, ya got any syrup ta go on these sausages?"

"Not for sausages, you'll ruin the taste," replied Elaine.

"Matter of opinion."

"Want some more coffee while I'm up?" asked Bobby, hoping to change topics in the process.

Everyone did, so he made the rounds.

"Say," interjected Ennis, "that new insulated trough with the electric warmer out by the barn is right nice. No ice on it this mornin'. Should think of replacin' the others, too, maybe runnin' a line out ta the troughs in the pastures, let em run on 'lectricity."

"Costs money, which don't grow on trees," frowned John.

"So does fixin' the firepots on the old troughs, and takes time firin' em up, could run the new ones all night if need be and not have ta work our way out there in the dark."

"I'm all for that. Damn wind-chill factor's getting' down there, musta been in the teens first daylight," Jack groused, and turned to Bobby, pointing at him with his fork. "Ya best dress properly when ya go outside, this ain't Texas."

"Sure, Dad."

Bobby then complimented his grandmother on the breakfast especially the coffee cake, asking for thirds. Elaine smiled a lot, brought more of everything, and thanked her men for repainting the kitchen last week.

Breakfast over, John wheeled into the front room to watch the Rose Parade from Pasadena. Jack helped Elaine with the dishes. Bobby hauled the clean laundry up from the basement to the second floor, and hauled the dirty laundry from the second floor down to the basement. Ennis took out the trash, and lit the burn barrel. Then they all joined John to watch the Parade.

They all enjoyed the mounted horse groups, especially the Andalusian horses of the International Andalusian Horse Association. Elaine wondered where in the world they got all the roses and other flowers for the floats. It was a close vote between them for best float, so they left it at a tie between "Mom and Apple Pie" entered by the City of South Pasadena and "Springtime in Yellowstone Park, Wyoming" entered by the City of Torrance, wherever those cities were. Bobby had voted for the float carrying Rose Queen Kristina Smith, the first black Rose Queen, pointing out that the blonde princess second from the left looked a lot like Emily Anderson, his (former) girlfriend in Childress.

After a quick lunch, Jack and Ennis drove the tractor out to the West pasture, to check the stock and drop off bales of hay and straw, and check the windbreak fencing, and replace a firepot. Bobby walked out to the stables to finish mucking out the stalls and currying the horses and checking the tack and equipment and completing his other uncompleted chores. _Not the most pleasant way to spend New Year's Day,_ he thought,_ but I am working inside, sorta, and I am here._ His mind drifted down South to Childress, wondering how his friends had spent New Year's Eve, maybe over at Ed's place like last year, or at Sally's like she'd been hinting, and who Emily went with. No matter now; he wouldn't trade a one-time party with them for living full time with his Dad and Pop on his ancestors' ranch. Even if the temperature was in the low 30's.

Mid-afternoon, Bobby heard a car outside. Looking out the stables window he saw a blue Ford LTDII stationwagon with the fake-looking wood decals on the sides and Montana license plates parked near the front porch, and a man and a woman standing at the front door. _Wonder who that is? Find out soon enough, I guess_, he thought, and went back to finish up his chores. _Wonder where I'm gonna put the rest of my stuff in my room… and that color, it really needs a coat of paint, hasn't seen a new one since Dad left in the sixties…sure like these new boots Grampa got me, nice and warm, just like his old ones…_

Driving the tractor pulling an empty trailer back to the Barn, Ennis squinted when he saw from a distance the stationwagon pull up to the front of the house.

"Shit."

"Hey now, none a that," responded Jack, leaning down from his position standing behind Ennis. "Though I will second that thought."

"Wonder what she wants."

"Only one way ta find out. And, it _is_ New Year's, so maybe she's had a change of heart. Would make a mighty fine present startin' the year off like that."

"Huh," was all Ennis said, half-heartedly.

Jack saw that look again, this time only fleeting but, still, there it was. Almost the same as Thanksgiving, the slight hunch of the shoulders, the pain, the love for his daughter mixed with the bitterness of rejection. Despite his positive words, Jack felt anger at her ruining what had started out as a fine day. _No, she isn't going to hurt him again after this, no way, last chance. _ But in his heart he knew that Ennis would always find room for another chance, just as he had for Jack for so many years. Another reason he loved that man so much.

As they crossed the open yard, Jack slipped into the driver's seat after dropping Ennis off, and headed for the barn. A squeeze on the shoulder had to take the place of a hug and a kiss. He promised to give Ennis some time alone with his daughter, but would be there for Ennis when he needed him. Inside the barn, he climbed down from the tractor and turned to unhitch the trailer.

"Dad, who's that?"

Jack jumped, startled, not realizing Bobby was still out doing chores. "Hey! Well, it's Ennis' daughter, Junior, and her husband, Kurt."

"She the one who…?"

"Yeah, she's the one."

"Wonder what she wants."

"Same thought occurred to us, too. You some kinda mind reader?"

Bobby smiled, gave him a playful nudge towards the doors. "You best be getting in there, Pop's gonna need you no matter what happens. I'll check this out, and be right in."

"You're sure?"

"Yep. I'm the grandson of the late owner of the biggest farm equipment company in northwest Texas, the son of the current owner, the son of the best damn salesman the company ever had, _and_ I spent part of every vacation for the last four years working in the repair shop, so think I know a thing or two about this old machine."

"Owe ya."

"Big time!"

Jack sat on the bench on the closed-in back porch and took off his boots before easing quietly into the kitchen. He breathed in the smells of their upcoming New Year's feast, pork roast, roasted red potatoes, string beans, carrots, cherry cake, and pumpkin pie. His dad sat at the table, half-empty cup of luke-warm coffee in front of him. His mom moved quietly around the room, checking the progress of their meal. Voices drifted in from the front room. He raised an eyebrow, to which his mom just shook her head, his dad shrugged his shoulders.

_Damn... I mean, darn it, 'xcuse me, Lord._

He moved into the dining room, sat on one of the chairs, out of sight of the front room, and listened to his partner talking with his daughter and son-in-law.

"But, Daddy, you just have to come and stay with us, like you planned. I got the room all set up for you, and I found a place nearby where you can board your horses while you're there." Her voice held an almost pleading quality.

"Like I said before, I do appreciate that offer, and I would like ta come and see you, but it would be only for a short visit." His voice held an exhausted quality.

"Daddy…" Her disappointment bled through that single word.

"This here's my home now, here with the Twists, and… with Jack."

"But Daddy, he's … he's…"

"Is what?"

"He's a… a… he!"

"Yes, he is. He's Jack, that's who he is. My Jack."

"That's… I mean… how could you?"

"How could I what?"

"Be _that_ way, after all… I mean, … you and Momma, and me, and Frannie, well, it's just not right."

Kurt spoke up for the first time, squeezing her hand. "Sweetie, we've talked about this."

"I know that, but this is my Daddy we're talking about, not one of your scruffy friends on a rusty old oil platform in the middle of some ocean," she snapped, before turning back to her father. "How could you tell me he was dead, when he wasn't, huh? Why did you lie to me? Why?" She begged for an answer that would never satisfy her.

"I didn't lie, I thought he was dead, his ex-wife sent me back my postcard with 'Deceased' stamped across it in big red letters, and told me on the phone that he'd died in an accident changin' a tire." His voice betrayed his raw emotions over that awful day. "Worst day a my life… Only found out he was alive when I stopped here on my way ta yer place."

"And you're giving us up for him."

Ennis sighed. Jack rose up from his chair to march into the front room, but Ennis' words rocked him back into his seat.

"Junior, honey, I'll never give up on you, never," Ennis quickly and firmly responded. "But you gotta understand, me and Jack, we got a second chance handed ta us, don't know how or why, but we did. And I took that chance, and I'm gonna hold onta it and him as hard as I can. I love you dearly, you and yer sister, but me and Jack are together now and that ain't gonna change."

Jack felt his heart swell. _Just like some damn 40's movie, but for real_.

"Do you… do you…" Junior took a deep breath, and continued shakily. "Do you love him?"

Ennis didn't answer immediately.

_First steps are hard, but now for the harder part, explaining._

Jack held his breath, and had to blink several times when Ennis responded quietly, "Yes, li'l darling, I do, I love him heart and soul, but different from you and Frannie, way different. You're my children, a part a me, my blood runs in ya, I have loved each of ya from the moment I first saw you and I'll always love ya, you'll always have a part of my heart. But with Jack… I fought hard against it over half of my life, thought it was just some 'thing' between us, somethin' wrong with me. When I thought he had… had… died," Ennis cleared his throat after he pushed out that word, "a big part of me died inside. That's when I knew what that 'thing' was. So, yeah, I do love him."

"I see." From her tone of voice, Jack hoped she really did see.

"Darlin', I… what I mean ta say is…" Ennis didn't know where or how to continue, to make her really see. But Junior held up her hand between them, palm towards her father, commanding his words to stop before reaching her ears.

"You know, I kinda felt something was up, the way you acted every time you went 'fishing' with him," Junior replied, pensively at first, then steadily more angrily as her thoughts spilled out. "And then the divorce and all. It was really hard for Momma, she cried a lot, and it was hard for me and Frannie too. Then after that Thanksgiving you got so distant, and spent so much time away from us, never seeing you for months on end, we missed you something awful. What made you do that? What? _Him?_" She fairly spat out the last word.

Ennis sat rooted to his spot on the couch, his coffee cold and forgotten in the mug on the low coffeetable between them. For the first time he realized clearly the effect of his choices and the divorce on his daughters. He had cheated them out of a family, out of two parents, out of a father who was there for them every day. But he had also cheated himself out of 20 years with Jack. His head ached, his heart ached. He had a lot to think about in the coming days and nights.

"I'll never understand about you and… and…"

"Jack, his name is Jack."

"… _that man_ being… together and all. And I just can't accept that you always wanted to be with him and not with us, your own flesh and blood. Even now. No, I won't accept that, and I can't forgive you for that. Ever." Her voice became firmer as she spoke.

"I'd like for you ta meet Jack. If you did…"

"No."

Kurt spoke up again. "Sweetie, you know I think you should." He paused. "It's New Year's, and we drove all this extra way, and it's his… their home and Jack's parent's home. It'd be a shame to just turn around and not meet him."

The silence was deafening. Simultaneously both Jack and Ennis recalled the first time Jack had met Junior, Jack red-lining all the way to Riverton only to be turned away with just a mumbled apology from Ennis. When Junior finally spoke, Jack clenched his fists.

"No. I won't. This was a mistake, I can see that now, we should never have come, but I won't make that mistake twice. Don't ever say his name to me again, ever. Jack Twist … Huh! Momma was right, Jack Nasty is more like it."

"That's enough of that kinda talk, daughter." Ennis had had enough. Now it was Ennis' time to be firm. His heart was breaking all over again, but he would not let his daughter say things like that about his Jack. "You're sittin' in his home which is mine now, too, so you'll not be sayin' anythin' like that here. Just because yer Momma says…"

"I'll say what I want when I want where I want." She lifted her chin and dared her father to contradict her.

_That's it! _ Jack shot up and strode quickly into the front room. Ignoring Kurt and Junior, both startled by his unexpected intrusion, Jack looked at Ennis, and recognized that panic-stricken look. _Oh-oh, not good. _ He sat down next to Ennis, looked him in the eyes, and put a protective arm around him.

"So, you're Jack Nasty," Junior almost sneered at Jack.

"Junior!" Kurt rebuked her sharply.

Jack's face turned grim.

"Well, he is. He's nothing but a …"

Jack stood abruptly to confront her, standing over her, cutting off her words as she had cut off her father's. _Time ta protect Ennis. He said it out loud for me, my turn ta say it for him. _

"Howdy, Kurt, nice ta see you again." He nodded and then turned to Junior. "I am Jonathan Edward Twist, and yer father is my partner, the person I love more than anyone else in this world, even my own son, though he does run a very close second. I've loved yer father since we were 19, and wanted to be with him ever since then. That didn't happen, for lots of reasons, you and yer sister and my son being three of them. But you're grown and we're together now and that ain't gonna change. And there is nothin' nasty about what we share and do. The only thing nasty here is yer way of thinkin' and talkin'. Was hopin' that you'd had enough time since Thanksgiving ta figure all this out, but I can see I was wrong. This is our home. Either ya apologize ta yer Dad, or leave, now."

From the look on Junior's face, it was the first time in a long time, if ever, that anyone had used that tone of voice with her. And it had to be "that man" doing it. She scrunched her face, and turned to her father in anger.

"Are you going to let him talk to me like that? Are you? Is this the way it's going to be?"

Ennis sighed heavily, one great weight lifted from his shoulders, another planted squarely on them. _He loves me, I love him, it's not a one-shot thing, it's our business, we're together and that ain't gonna change, til death us do part._

He slowly unwound and stood next to Jack, took his hand, and said firmly, "Alma, that's the way it is. I'm not gonna pretend anymore ta be someone I ain't, ta please ya or anyone else. I did that for too many years and hurt a lot of people along the way. I had hoped ya would accept us. If ya can't, that's up ta you. I love ya, and that won't change. But I won't have ya talkin' like ya just did about Jack. You need ta apologize ta him."

Junior stared at her father, and then at Jack, and then back at your father.

"So," she started, her voice cold and unforgiving, "you've made your choice. Now here's mine. No apologies, not from me. I'm leaving now, and I'm never coming back, and I never want to see you again or hear from you again as long as I live. Don't ever try to contact me, because I won't respond. I'll burn your letters and throw away your packages unopened and hang up on your phone calls." She angrily put on her gloves and hat, and gathered her purse, before blasting her parting shot straight through Ennis.

"And just so you know everything that you've thrown away, I'm pregnant, baby's due in July. You'll never meet your grandchild, I won't allow it. As far as I'm concerned, you're dead to me and my family, and I'll tell the baby just that when she asks me."

Without a good bye, she strode quickly from the house, slamming the door open. Kurt shook his head, and took the time to murmur his apologies and shtake each of their hands, before silently following her. The front door closed behind him, and the storm door banged shut. Car doors slammed. An engine started. Tires scrunched on snow. The sounds drifted off in the distance.

Ennis and Jack hugged, listening until there was nothing to hear from outside. Both wept silently. They held each other, comforted each other, strengthened each other, in the front room of their shared home, the lights of the Christmas tree blinking red, green, orange, white and blue, the blank eye of the 32-inch RCA color television set reflecting the scene.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

**Homecoming 4**

**New Year's Day 1985**

**PART II**

The sudden blaring of a horn, screeching of tires sliding in slush, slamming of a car door, and voices raised in anger out in front of the house suddenly interrupted them.

"Dammit, why don't you look where you're driving? Who taught you to drive anyway? No, lemme guess, Mr. Toad, right?"

"Well if you would watch where you're walking…"

"Me? ME! I live here, for God's sake. You're the one driving up the road like a banshee, bouncing all over, splashing through the slush, you coulda hit the fence or one of the animals! You almost hit me! And just look at me, I'm soaked! Dammit! If I hadn't jumped outa the way…"

John came wheeling into the front room, followed closely by Elaine, wiping her hands on her apron. "Land sakes! Who's that?" she asked.

"No idea," responded Jack, looking out the window.

"Shit." The last came accompanied by a groan from Ennis, who recognized the female voice. "Will this day never end?"

Bobby came stomping up the front steps, threw open the door, and stood just inside, barring entrance by a young woman. Jack and Ennis quit their hug, but remained standing next to each other. Jack pulled out his handkerchief and quickly rubbed Ennis' cheeks, removing almost all the trails of tears. But he couldn't wipe away the sadness in those dark eyes. Jack turned, but rested his right hand in the small of Ennis' back, providing comfort and support

"Dad! Pop! This crazy woman says she's Pop's daughter, but I don't believe it, he couldn't have made someone like that. No way! And look what she did! Nearly drove me down and got me all wet! Dammit!"

"Who you calling a crazy woman? And who 're you calling 'Pop'? Daddy, you in there?" demanded a young female voice.

"Robert," commanded Elaine, "watch yer language in this house. And you're getting water all over my clean rugs. Go around ta the side door, and then upstairs and a change outta those wet things."

"But…"

"No buts, young man, do what yer Grandma says," commanded John.

"Yes, Grampa."

Bobby shoved past the woman and stomped off the porch.

"Hey, watch it!"

"And you, too, young lady," continued Elaine, "ya take off those wet boots before ya step inside my clean house."

The young woman looked at her, surprised, but realizing she would lose that battle, complied, then flounced into the house and stood in the entrance to the living room.

Without even a how-do-you-do, she launched her first grenade into the group before her. "Daddy, did that kid just call you 'Pop'?"

Ennis saw red. He was frazzled by the encounter with Junior, emotionally and physically, and now _this_ "attitude" from his younger daughter.

"Francine, mind yer manners!" Ennis rebuked her sharply. "Since you've obviously forgotten, them, just like yer sister, I'll introduce you around. These folks are Mr. and Mrs. Twist; they own this ranch. That 'kid' that called me Pop is their grandson, Bobby Twist, and I told him he could call me that, 'cause he likes me and I like him, and it feels right. And this here is Jack Twist, their son, Bobby's dad, and my best friend and partner. Folks, this is Francine Jennifer Del Mar, my younger daughter."

Jack took a breath. _Wonder if he realizes he called me partner right in front of his daughter?_

Thoroughly chastised, Fran felt about 12 years old again. Definitely not wanting to be identified too closely with Junior, Fran took a deep breath and gathered her wits about her. She exchanged pleasantries, while apologizing for barging in like she did. She shook Jack's hand last, hesitantly, and smiled at him.

"How do you do, Mr. Twist." _His partner?_

"Fine, thank you. And if you've a mind to, please call me Jack. Mr. Twist is my Daddy over there," Jack responded with a careful smile. _I hope this is going to be different… hell, this whole mornin' has been different, so what's new?_

"Thank you, and please call me Fran."

"Deal."

"Daddy?" Fran croaked out, her voice breaking as she reached towards her father.

"Come here, li'l darlin'." And Ennis enveloped her in a big hug. Jack stepped aside to allow her arms to surround her father.

"I just had to come up here. I tried to get here in time. I'm so tired. That was her driving off, wasn't it? I'm too late, aren't I? I can tell. I knew she would do it, even after saying she wouldn't. "

"Wouldn't what?" asked Ennis.

"Come here and try to convince you to give up Mr. Twist… I mean, Jack… and move up to their place, like nothing happened and he didn't exist or something."

"Shit."

"Ennis!"

"Sorry, Elaine."

Elaine nodded, then slipped out of the room, motioning John to follow her. "Let them have some privacy," she whispered.

"Junior wouldn't say a thing about to me about what really happened on Thanksgiving, no matter how much I pestered her. I only found out at the party last night at Momma's. I think she gave in and told me just to shut me up. Told me everything, and said she'd already had a long talk with Momma about the whole thing. And then she starts up talking like Momma, saying things about you and… and Mr… um, Jack."

"What things?" asked Ennis quietly, not wanting to know but having to know.

"You know, about how you were Momma's first, and he turned you away from us and made Momma divorce you, and it being unnatural, says so in the Bible, and you're both going to hell, and…," she hesitated, now embarrassed having to say those things out loud, "and calling Jack 'Jack Nasty'." Her voice trailed off. The others remained silent, so she forced herself to continue.

"Then she told me about the baby, and said she was going to come up here and use that to force you to leave Mr. Twist if nothing else worked. I made her promise not to, to wait and talked some more, but I just had this feeling she was lying to me, and I was right. When I got up late this morning, she had already left. I had to wring it out of Billy to find out where she'd gone to so early. So I came straightaway."

She closed her eyes and kept her tight hold on her father, hearing his heart pounding away through her winter coat and his cotton shirt, wishing it would all go away. It didn't. It wouldn't. And the tears flowed. "Oh, Daddy, what's going on? I got so many questions. You know I love you, but…"

"Hush, now, li'l darlin, it's okay." Ennis tried to soothe her, holding back his own tears, reaching out one hand to grasp Jack's outstretched hand as he held onto Fran with his other.

Before things got much more awkward, Elaine walked back in with a tray with a coffee pot, mugs and a Christmas Tree plate with several kinds of cookies, which she placed on the coffeetable. "Anyone like coffee? Maybe a cookie? We have hot cocoa if ya like." She pulled out from her apron pocket a clean handkerchief embroidered with a large "E" in one corner, which she held out to Fran. Fran thanked her, and wiped the tears.

Relieved, they made the proper noises as they helped themselves, thanking Elaine, who withdrew back to the kitchen with John. Then they all sat down, Ennis and Jack together on the sofa, Fran in a chair opposite, the low coffeetable again standing barrier duty between generations.

Fran cleared her throat, and started the conversation down the road less traveled. As before, her thoughts all ran together, a steady stream of thoughts and questions.

"Jack? Umm… I remember you from that time 10 or so years ago, outside Daddy's old place. But last year, before Junior's wedding I overheard Junior asking Daddy if he wanted you to come, you being his best friend and all, and he looked so sad when he told her about you being dead. Figured that's why he moped around for so long, avoiding me and Junior, getting drunk and fired from one job after another, finally landing a good job only to have the place fold under him after only a few months. Then when he's on his way to stay with Junior, suddenly instead he's living at the Twist Ranch 'cause Jack's pa lost part of a leg in an accident and needs help. Then Junior tells me Daddy's going up there for Thanksgiving and bringing 'a very special friend' with him. We thought maybe he'd met another gal like that waitress. But afterwards she wouldn't say anything about Thanksgiving, except that Daddy showed up but they didn't have dinner together. And, well, you know the rest." She left unsaid the other emotions rattling around inside, her own confusion about what happened, about where she was and they were, and where they all were going.

Jack looked over at Ennis when Junior said 'best friend.' In glances they talked without words. _Is that all I am to you, yer best friend?_

_Nah, best friend and more. You mean everythin' to me, best friend, boyfriend, partner, lover, everythin'._

Turning back to Fran, Jack responded. "That's okay; a lot of that's my fault, the way things happened, some bad choices I made… But we're here together now, and I'm mighty grateful for that. Maybe I shoulda made yer Dad tell Junior before we just showed up on her doorstep like that. And maybe I shoulda made him tell ya, too. Things mighta worked out differently."

"Yes, well, not so sure about that after today." She took another sip of coffee and snagged a snickerdoodle from the Christmas Tree plate, gathering her thoughts. "So you didn't die. But I noticed you got a limp. Are you okay? Did you fall or something?"

"I'm okay, it's nothin', really, just an old injury that flares up now and again."

"It's from the accident," supplied Ennis.

"Oh dear. Still? The one when Daddy thought...? It must have been a bad one."

"Yep, was some kinda 'accident'," added Jack, _ta trust that sonofabitch, ta drink too much and say too much at the wrong time in the wrong place, ta stay married to Lureen for too long._

As they enjoyed their coffee and cookies, Jack and Ennis told their story, skipping what were to them details that were nobody's business but their own, but including the day Ennis had walked into the barn and back into his life, and what happened on Thanksgiving, and how Bobby had moved up last week to live with them on the Ranch and finish school in Wyoming. Jack couldn't see Ennis' face all the time, but Fran could see the range of emotions crossing their faces throughout the telling.

After a short silence, Fran spoke up quietly. "Now I know why Momma still has so much bitterness whenever she talks about your marriage. All that crying." She sighed. "And why you got so distant, like you were somewheres else at times. That must have been awful for the two of you, especially getting that last postcard."

"But like Mark Twain said, thankfully the report of Jack's death turned out ta be greatly exaggerated," commented Ennis.

Jack turned and smiled at Ennis, pleased that he had remembered. _Of course he would, gave him the tickets just a few days ago._

"Who?" asked Fran.

"That Mark Twain fella, Sam Clemens, you know, the one that lived a hundred years ago, traveled all around, and lived in the East somewheres writin' books and such. He was talkin' about some people that spread rumors he'd died."

"How'd you know that?"

"Learned a lot since I been here. Seems _somebody_ read some of his books."

Jack jumped into the conversation, glad to be on a topic other than the two of them. "High school sophomore English class, helpin' Bobby, read _Tom Sawyer_. It got ta the point I was readin' all of his book assignments, too."

"I didn't know that. We read _Tom Sawyer_ and _Huckleberry Finn_ in English class, too, but I never heard that." She looked thoughtfully at Jack. "I like you, Mr. Twist."

"Jack."

"Jack," she conceded, then looking at her father. "Daddy, I don't really understand all of this yet, I got a lot to think about, but I can see that this is where you want to be. What Junior did, well, I can't change that or change her. But I can change, think I already have some, heck, I know I've changed… I'm not gonna disappear from your life, I want to know my Daddy and you, too, Jack." She gave a half-smile and shook her head. "It's sure gonna be hard when Momma finds out I've been here, and that I'm not gonna push you away, but I won't give up!"

"Don't yer Momma know about you drivin' up here?" worried Ennis.

"I told her I was going to visit a friend in Casper. Margie knows and will cover for me. But I bet Junior'll call Momma first chance. Best be calling Margie and letting her know the latest, and then call Momma. Say, you go an extra room? I may need to move here, too!" she finished ruefully.

"You're welcome any time, just say when," responded Jack.

"Thanks, but really I'm thinking of moving to Laramie anyway. I got accepted into the nursing program at the University, early acceptance for the Fall semester. Something I've always wanted to do, but I'm trying to decide whether to go. Not really sure, what if it doesn't work out? And it costs a lot, a lot more than CW, even with the academic scholarship they offered me, and then there's finding a place to live. I've saved enough for the first semester, but after that what if…"

"Go."

"Daddy?"

"Don't wait, go ta Laramie, get away from yer Momma and try it. I… we'll help ya if need it. Don't want ya ta turn around and find 20 years gone by and it's too late ta do what ya really wanted ta do all along."

Jack heard the sadness behind Ennis' words, and the determination that his daughter would not make the same mistake he did, being afraid to follow his heart and dreams. He nodded his approval and willingness to make sure Fran went to the University.

"But it's so far away from you!"

"Got the phone, and mail, and ya can visit when school's out."

"And we can visit you," chimed in Jack.

Ennis gave him a startled look. "Well, don't know about that."

"Or yer Dad can visit by himself." _One step at a time,_ Jack reminded himself, _one step at a time_.

Ennis stood up, went around the barrier table, and hugged his no-so-little-anymore girl. "Go follow yer dream, li'l darlin'."

"Thank you, Daddy. I swear…" She never finished the sentence, the thought just hanging unspoken between them.

Ennis looked about ready to die from a combination of happiness, pride, relief and anxiety. Jack winked at Ennis over Fran's shoulder, pleased that she had decided to give them a chance and take her own chance. When Jack winked, Ennis just about did die. Once again looks spoke volumes.

_Right in front of Fran, what the hell are ya thinkin' about, oh yeah, ya aren't thinkin' atall!_

_Same old Ennis! Can't believe good things can come ta yer hand, even if it does happen the hard way._

Jack saw the light returning to Ennis' eyes, and vowed again to see to it that his partner kept his new-found happiness and lost his almost constant anxiety.

Fran kept saying she had to go, had only planned a quick visit, but finally gave up and accepted John and Elaine's invitation to have dinner and stay overnight.

"It's too late ta be driving that far, it'll be dark before ya know it, and ya don't know these roads," argued John.

"We've plenty of room and food enough for everybody," added Elaine, "and we're so glad to have part of Ennis' family share New Year's with us. Give us time ta get to know each other better. Dinner's ready, just have ta put it on the table."

"I agree," said Ennis. "Best call yer Momma and let her know where you are." _Don't want her harpin' on me about this, too, gonna be bad enough when she hears about us supportin' yer goin' away ta the University. My daughter! Graduatin' high school and goin' ta college and now the University!_

About that time, Bobby came clumping down the stairs, all clean and dry, but hair still damp, breaking the tension and adding to it at the same time. Ennis introduced his daughter to Bobby. Bobby offered a cold hand to her.

"Hi."

Fran smiled wanly as they shook hands.

"Nice to meet you formally, and I do have to apologize for what I did. I've just been out of sorts these past few days, and was so tired after last night, and then to make the drive up only to see Junior driving away before I could get here. I know it's no excuse, but, well..."

Bobby could read the expressions on his father's and Ennis' faces, and with Fran's apology decided cautiously to go with the flow.

"That's okay, no real harm done, I guess. Went ahead and took a shower, to warm up." He turned to his Dad. "What happened with Junior? Was that Kurt with Junior? They sure left in a hurry, though not as fast as Fran did arriving."

Fran smiled at the verbal jab.

"Later, son," Jack warned and promised.

Bobby looked at him quizzically, but realized later meant "later", so he let it drop for the time being. As he took over from his Grandma, setting the extra place at the dining room table, he asked, "Anybody know the score at the Cotton Bowl?" They all helped carry in the covered dishes and platters of food.

Fran couldn't miss the casual yet warm way they all treated each other, and saw how Bobby accepted the situation, when she still struggled. But she kept a calm front, didn't say anything more about it, and added this to the list of questions and issues she had to address with herself when she got home. She needed peace and quiet to think things through. One thing for sure, she was going to the University in Laramie next Fall, whether her Momma liked it or not!

John brought out a bottle of wine. "Let's all have a glass of wine ta celebrate startin' the New Year havin' Fran here with us. You, too, Bobby, special occasion, that is, if yer Dad don't mind."

Bobby lifted an eyebrow at his dad.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead, it's a special occasion, can't hurt and ya ain't drivin' anywheres."

Bobby brought wine glasses and passed them around, while Ennis opened the wine. _When did he learn to do that? We never had wine,_ Fran thought.

Ennis poured a glass for Fran. She took a sip and smiled. "This is good, I like it, what kind is it?"

"Chenin Blanc, from a winery in California." _The same wine that Jack and me gave to Kurt through the screen door on Thanksgiving._ He looked at Fran with misty eyes which she thought were for her. Jack wasn't fooled a bit.

"You pick it out?"

"Yeah."

_How's he know about such things? More to think about_, Fran thought, adding to her list.

As he sipped his wine, sitting at the head of the table, John watched and listened to the lively chatter and laughter from the smiling faces around the table. He too felt the warmth radiating from it all. He thought about all the changes in the past year. The bad times that Spring, the worst times in the Summer losing his leg, the better times since Ennis reappeared and stayed on, the sadness after Thanksgiving, and now the best times having his grandson and Ennis' daughter under the same roof. _All them years, _he thought, _all them fuckin' years, wasted… thought I had a home, but never did, just a broken down house with three people barely existin' in it, dryin' up inside 'cause of me. _

He glanced down the table at his wife of 46 years, about ready to burst from happiness. _Now, we got a home. Gonna stay that way._ He made that his New Year's resolution, which he knew the others silently shared with him.

tbc

Author's Notes:

"CW" is Central Wyoming College, located in Riverton, Wyoming.

In the Rose Bowl on New Year's Day 1985, the Big Ten, which beat the West with hard-nosed "men against boys" football in the 40s and 50s, succumbed to the physical might of the Pac-10 as Ted Tollner's 8-3 USC Trojans smashed Earl Bruce's 9-2 Ohio State Buckeyes, 20-17.

In the Cotton Bowl on New Year's Day 1985, Boston College quarterback Doug Flutie became the seventh Heisman Trophy winner to make a New Year's Day appearance in the Cotton Bowl. In a record-breaking performance, he led the Boston College Eagles to a 45-28 win over the Houston Cougars.


End file.
